So I had my meltdown last week. Fortunately for me and C, it wasn't for very long. Actually I was forced out of it with obligations. We had two charity events this weekend and I spent some time last week helping get things in order and then worked both of the events. They were fun and by industry standard, successful, but nonetheless it was work. I couldn't even think about the baby problems for a minute and wouldn't you know it, this weekend was probably O time. (I'm not OPKing, so I'm going off a vague 14 day calendar.) C spent the night out on Saturday and got home late last night. I didn't even say anything to him, but he keeps asking "when's the time?" I don't think I want to try at all this month. I know, coming off a "when will it ever happen to me??" freak out, you would think I'd be all about TTC. Sometimes doing nothing helps the most.
I wish I could apply that logic to my entire life for a week or so - do nothing! Wouldn't that be nice!
My DH and I stopped trying two months ago and its hard. All I think about is when am I o'ing!!!! It is so hard to stop yourself from wanting to try yet you are so emotionally wrecked and that damn fear is in the back of your mind that "you will never have a baby" ugh!!! It is enough to make you want to crawl under a rock and die. LOL. Yeah so I know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had a breakdown. I have them all of the time. :) But really, it does help to let it out. Hopefully you are feeling better this week.
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