Tuesday, April 27, 2010

When it rains, it pours

C and I went to a family party on Sunday for his Gma. My SIL came down - who I love - and there was brunch involved - YAY!

As soon as we got there, a picture was taken of us for a scrapbook documenting the party. Along side of where our photo was to be placed, we were to write a little message to his Gma. So being the efficient husband he is, C sat down immediately and wrote our letter. His sister wanted to "digest" the day and wait until after we ate. In the meantime everyone else continued to write in this book. Finally his sister did her thing and I took the book from her to read what C wrote from "us" and as I was skimming the pages I noticed that there was an entry from their cousin, a 24 yr old wife and mother of two, and the bottom was signed Love, Wife, Husband, Child 1, Child 2 and baby to be named ... What??? She's pregnant? I sat there looking at SIL and C with my mouth open. This girl had her first right after my first loss, had a second and is pregnant again - all while I've been trying and failing! I couldn't believe it. This coming just days after my previous post. SIL gave me a sad face, but C, knowing me so well, made a joke at their expense and got me to laugh. I got up and went over to congratulate her and then she said (mind you, these people don't know what C and I are going through, so no blame, but ...) "Oh yea - this one was a surprise. I feel like I've been nothing but pregnant for years. haha." Ahhh - ya think.

Anyway, the moral of this story is when it rains, it pours. I need to get my anti-pregnant women umbrella out, because I'm sure another storm is coming ....

Friday, April 23, 2010

Ugh

It's the oddest thing about having trouble getting pregnant. I could be having the best day ever, but when something small of a baby relation happens in the world of this infertile - all bets are off.

I slept in late this morning, got up and it was sunny and warm. I thought today is going to be a good day. Checked the weather, got dressed, snuggled my S* (you will meet him soon - best puppy baby ever!) and then innocently jumped online to check email and then peruse FB. And that's when I saw it, ANOTHER friend announcing her pregnancy. It was like a punch from a 250lb man to my stomach. I sat there reading all the "Congratulations!!" and "Being a Mom is the best! Good Luck." and thought to myself - is it ever going to be my turn? And instead of closing the browser, I masochistically went to all the other friends I know are pregnant and read their pages. Why do I do that to myself? Maybe I'm just trying to build up a tolerance to pregnant friends. That way when the next person tells me they are pregnant I won't think of it any more than if they had told me that they bought a shirt or something. Yeah, that's it - sounds like a good idea. I'm so smart! Now back to my good day ...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Already I'm bad poster

It's more than a full month since my last post. If I really want this to be decent, I have to get on here more often.

Since my last post, C and I went on a vacation. It was a last minute trip and a MUST needed one. I've been putting off going on vacation ever since we starting trying to have a bambino. Every time we talked about planning a trip, I'd say "well let's not go to Italy, because if I'm pregnant I won't be able to drink all that great wine ..." And that's pretty much the same line I'd given to France, Greece, New Zealand, etc. Plus the fact that I've lost two pregnancies, I think I'd be nervous going out of the country while pregnant. (I know, I'm going to be one of those big wusses when I get pregnant...)

So we've been putting it off. Finally I had a breakdown a few weeks ago and we planned a trip within two weeks, so as least I knew I was pregnant. Anyhow, it was a great time. However during the trip, AF showed her ugly face four days early. It's like she is saying "Hey, hey - don't forget about me!" She is a persistent bitch.

Well other than that, I have nothing to really report on the fertility front. Status quo (god I hate that saying, but it's the truth)

I promise to get on here more often. I'm a lousy baker and apparently a lousy poster!