Tuesday, October 4, 2011

All things Peyton

Wow - I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since I last posted. I made excuses for not posting while I was home with baby and swore that once I returned to work, I would begin again ... only to be hammered by work the second I walked through the office door for a month straight.

Here is the gist - I miss Peyton. I miss being home with her. She is at an age when the fun stuff starts - she smiles all the time, giggles, "talks" excessively, she knows me, she is starting to know things around her - her hands, feet, toys, Samson, the TV .... and I only get to see this for about 2 hours a day. I go back and forth about feeling like a shitty Mom b/c I'm working 10 hrs a day to realizing that I actually like my job and feel a sense of normalcy when I'm there. Most mornings I say "I'm not doing this anymore. I'm quitting." as I'm kissing her to pieces either leaving her with C so he can bring her to daycare or when I'm dropping her off at daycare. Then I get to work and am emerged into tons of projects and have no choice but to move on with the day. Then when I pick her up - the days when I'm not working late - she is always the last one in her room, I again feel like a shitty Mom. Then I try to jam what would be a full days of loving on her into a two hr window. I'm still having a hard time balancing this - my "old" career-driven life and the life I wanted and am thrilled to have ... as a mom.

OK -I'm going to stop complaining ... I certainly don't want my first post back after 3 months away to be me bitching.

Peyton is doing wonderfully. She is growing - although she is still a little peanut. I think she weighs somewhere in the 11lbs range. We go on Friday for her well visit. She isn't breastfeeding anymore, however I'm pumping all the time, so she is still just getting breastmilk. She apparently has some kind of milk protein allergy (she had blood in her stool) so I've cut out dairy. (not as easy as it sounds) I haven't introduced any formula b/c I just don't want to rock the boat. She sleeps well - most nights - and only wakes up once a night to feed.

I've been taking pictures of her on her "month" bdays so we can compare her growth. It's crazy to see how much she's grown in the past 4 months ...

It's such a huge difference between 1 and 2 months ... She's such a little baldy.

What else - I'm sure there is tons, but I can't think right now. I'm just so tired. I've been working like crazy and last night, P was up several times last night ... I think she caught a cold. She is super congested and whenever we laid her down, she woke up. So C ended up holding her some of the night and she eventually ended up in the middle of our bed around 5 am.
Anyhow - I'll try to get on here more often. I feel like I'm so out of the loop ... even in my own life!!!