I know I have been a terrible blogger. Things have been insanely busy.
I am officially an employee of the organization I've been freelancing with. YAY! Not that it wasn't busy before, but the last two weeks have really tested my patience and sanity. Here's a little example of why work has been making my days living hell! Oh how I love design and the media!
I've been trying to work out a lot lately - running (trying to run), swimming (trying to swim) and C bought P90X - I'm sure you've all heard of it - it's killer!!! I did a few days and it's crazy. I'm not sure with the addition of swimming to my already kept routine of running, that the P90X is feasible. I was left stranded on the couch, in pain, from the Plyometric class. But that is my focus right now. I'm trying not to think of babies, pregnancy, etc., etc.
I said "trying not to". Last night I was laying in bed (C is away on business, yet again) and out of nowhere my mind went to thinking of what I'd look like pregnant. I thought about rubbing my belly and feeling kicks. Even though I was thinking about it, it almost feels like I'll never really know how that does feel. Like it's a movie playing in my head and I will always just be the audience, watching and wishing it were me.
I know exactly where this is coming from - AF was "due" yesterday if you go by my normal cycle, but considering last month was the m/c, who knows now when it's suppose to be coming. I haven't taken HPT and I'm not going to. I am DEF not pregnant.
Sometimes I need to rope myself back in from the obsessive daydreaming and this is one of those times ... August isn't too far off and honestly, I really do want to get into better shape this summer. I will make that my number one goal over the next few months. If I could devote the last two years thinking about and trying for a baby, I should be able to exchange that thought with exercise. Easy right? .....