Pumping 101 (or Advanced Cardio)

I haven’t really touched on the subject of pumping except for a few months ago when I mentioned that I wasn’t breastfeeding anymore, just pumping. Well the long story was that P, around 4 weeks old, was refusing the boob. She would start nursing and then after the initial letdown, she would pull off and scream and cry. Our “magical moments” of nursing turned into a nightmare that lasted over an hour long and ended with both of us crying. I called every lactation consultant I knew. I went and nursed in front of one and the conclusion we all came to was that I had a strong letdown and then P was getting pissed that she had to actually do a little work to get the rest of it out. I had a few LC tell me that I needed to stop pumping, stop giving a random bottle and go back to a strict boob to mouth relationship – even if it took “3 – 5 weeks” … um, when this was going down, I had about 8 more weeks of maternity leave and then I would be giving bottles all the time anyhow. I couldn’t imagine going through another feeding of the screaming, let alone 5 WEEKS of it!

So I decided to pump and supplement with formula if I had to. What I didn’t realize was that P would have a milk protein allergy. So after giving her 3 oz of formula over three days (if what I pumped was low, I’d put in 1 oz of form) she started to have blood in her stool. Great! So long story short, I couldn’t bare to give her the hypo allergic stuff that smelt like Cheez-Its, so I hunkered in and started a pumping routine. Not how I envisioned giving her breast milk, but it would have to do. And if I say so myself, I did pretty well.

I started out pumping every 2-3 hours to get my supply up, then every 3 hours, then every 4. In the beginning, until mid September (after I returned to work) I would nurse her in the middle of the night. She was sleepy so she didn’t care about how fast or slow it was coming out. But eventually when the supply wasn’t working for her, she started to wake up every hour or so looking for food and being back at work, this didn’t fly with me. So I then started to pump in the middle of the night. It was tiring. It was stupid (I would pump, put it in a bottle and C would feed her) Eventually I got on a schedule – Woke up at 7, pumped; Went to work; pump at 11, pump at 3; pick up P; pump at 7; Stay up to 11; pump – leave pumped milk out in case P woke up before I did in the middle of the night; pump at 3AM; put 11PM milk in fridge, now have 3AM milk to feed when she woke at 4AM to eat. (my supply was pretty good – I was getting a solid 28-30oz a day, so I had enough to feed her and I could add to my freezer stash) I was getting in, at best, 3.5 hours blocks of sleep. This did not make for a productive lady during the day. I did this – EVEN after P left our room in November and started sleeping through the night (I still left out a bottle in case she woke up hungry.) I vowed to stick to this until she turned 6 months old. I would have LOVED to nurse her until a year old, but I couldn’t do another 6 months of this. So I started around mid November to alter my pumping schedule. I started to increase the time between until I eventually stopped pumping on December 7^th. I was sad. I couldn’t believe it was over. I no longer possessed the ability to feed my child. Def sadder than I thought I’d be. But nonetheless, I did 6 months and felt pretty good about it. I started mixing in the hypo allergic formula – which to my surprise she took to seamlessly. I went through my stash and completely switched her over two days before Xmas.

NOW to the point of my post. I gained a total of 23 lbs during my pregnancy. I was expecting to lose a good portion after delivering her, but to my surprise when I jumped on the scale the day I got home from the hospital and I had only lost about 7-8 lbs. However the following weeks I saw the scale number drop, drop and drop. Man this pumping thing rocked! When I surpassed my pre-pregnancy weight I was thrilled. When I saw I was 10 lbs lighter than when I started the IVF process, I was over the moon! I didn’t exercise – I mean who has the time. I wanted to sleep when the time arose! I was fitting into clothes I couldn’t wear the summer before. This was amazing! I was eating like shit – however I had cut out all dairy b/c P had the milk protein allergy – but I was living off potato chips and candy! Seriously!! But the pounds just stayed off.

And then I stopped pumping.

1. My boobs were no longer milk-fabulous and perky. They were worn out and sloppy. The amount of abuse I put them through with pumping started to show. They are straight up African tribe looking. I wonder if National Geographic will come knocking soon!

2. I got my period. I SERIOUSLY forgot all about it. I hadn’t had it in over 14 months and it was wonderful! In fact when I got it, it was like I was 13 again and didn’t know how to handle it. I was running to the bathroom all the time, swearing that I was leaking. Fun stuff.

3. Hmmmm. My pants were starting to get tighter. That’s weird. I pondered that until I got on the scale and saw that I was 6 lbs heavier than I was just a mere 3 weeks earlier! Holy Shit. My stomach was falling over the top of my jeans. My bra straps were showing the ever growing back fat that came home from a long vacation. This was terrible. Even though I was/am still lower than my pre-pregnancy weight, I look so much worse! I’m soft … ALL over! I can’t get throughout the day without pulling up pants, pulling down a shirt, shifting a bra, etc.

I really took for granted the power of the pump! I have a ton of shouldas-wouldas (should have worked out while pumping; would have been able to lose more weight, etc.) but I just didn’t realize how quickly the weight would come back on. So I’m in the mist of getting back on the cardio train. I’m having trouble finding the time between working, wanting to spend quality time with P and C and of course, sleeping to work out. I know moms do it. And I know it’s just rearranging the schedule a bit … and as I start to sweat the pounds away, all I think about it is DAMN I wish I were still pumping!

And we're off ...

C and I are in the throes of packing up the last minute stuff before we go to bed. We are taking Peyton on her first plane trip tomorrow morning. We are headed off to Florida to visit my dad and stepmom. I'm excited about this trip for many reasons.

One - we are heading out of this cold place and going to hit up the warm weather! (Actually I don't think it's suppose to be all that warm tomorrow there but still a hell of a lot better than home's temp <25 degrees!!!>)

Two - I'm excited to take Peyton on a plane. I know she will NEVER remember this, but still I will like telling her about this experience - I didn't go on my first plane trip until I was 19.

Three - Obviously excited to see my dad and spend some time with him. Excited to see his house - he recently built a home in a retirement community. Apparently this community is like a big college for retired people. Lots of mid day drinking, golfing, lunching, golfing, drinking, etc. Hopefully it should be a good time!

And fourth - this is a big one ... C and I are leaving Peyton with my dad and stepmom for two nights and heading over to the gulf for a little get away. This will be the very first time I'm away from her overnight. Let alone two nights! I think I'll be OK, but who knows. Luckily we are only a car drive away so if I'm desperately missing her, we could always pop in the car and head back to my dad's. OR I'll just drink as soon as we get to the resort and relish in the fact that I sleep in and nap whenever I want to! :)

Anyhow, I'll post in a week or so, hopefully with some pics of me with a tan!!! LOL. Enjoy your week ladies!!

6 months of Peyton

I use to be such a good blogger. When I was pregnant, I use to update at least once a week, if not more. Having those weekly update commitments made me get on here and do it. So I saw this on another blog and thought, hey this is a way to kick start my entry back into the blog world. I'm going to do a catch up of the last 6 months and then hopefully will remember to do a monthly update.

Peyton - 6 months (she is technically 6m3w, but whatever)

Weight
Birth - 5lbs 15oz (Came home at 5lbs 7oz)
6 months - 14lbs 1oz

Height
Birth - 18 7/8"
6 months - 24.5"

Diaper size
1's but just starting to move up to 2's - especially at night.

Clothing size
Lots of 3 months, 3-6 months. Footie pjs she is in 6 months.
We are going to Florida next week and she can finally wear some of the things people got her for this past summer (0-3 month dresses) I tried them on her last night - they still fit!

Feeding Schedule
I weaned her off of breast milk onto to the hypo allergic formula (A.limentum) starting at her 6 month birthday. As of two days ago, she is now completely off of breast milk (I stopped pumping on Dec 5th and have used up all of my freezer stash.) This is her current schedule:
8am - 7oz bottle; 10am - 3 tbsp oat cereal with 1 tbsp fruit; 12noon - 6oz bottle; 4pm - 6oz bottle; 6pm - 3 tbsp oat cereal with 1 tbsp veggies; 8pm - 7oz bottle.
She has tried a lot of fruits and veggies. So far, she isn't a huge fan of fruits - loves all the veggies. Peas seem to be her favorite! She is super cute eating them too!

Sleep
Peyton sleeps through the night. We put her in her crib - out of our room- when she turned 5 months. She goes down anywhere from 8:15-9pm and sleeps until 7-7:45am. There are the few occasions when she's still sleeping at 8 and we have to wake her. And of course there are times when she wakes up in the middle of the night - we do let her fuss for a few minutes and most of the time she just goes right back to sleep. If she starts to cry, I will go in and rock her.
She still naps like a champ. She takes a 30-60 min nap in the morning; a 1/5-2 hr nap in the afternoon and a 30 min catnap in the evening. She is pretty consistent on the eat, play, sleep schedule.

Daily Routine
Peyton goes to daycare 4 days a week. I know they do a lot of activities with her - we are always getting little projects that have her hand and feet prints on them. When she is home with us, other than the feeding and sleeping schedule is on, there really isn't any daily routine. We play together, go shopping together, read, etc. I let her play independently for at least 30 mins a day, so she knows how to entertain herself. The only other routine is bedtime - bath, reading or singing, eating and then I rock her a minute or two and then put her in her crib.

Hair/Eye color
Eyes are brown. Dark brown. Her hair is coming in light brown, but who knows what it will turn out to be. I was a platinum blonde as a kid and C has black hair ... we'll see.

Favorite toy/entertainment
Peyton loves her ExerSaucer. She has a few toys she plays with a lot. And she loves her taggie blanket.

Milestones
Rolled over from back to belly - Early Nov
Sat up unassisted - Mid December

Gets up on all fours and rocks - December 20
Started solids 4 days before 6 month birthday
Says "ba-ba-ba" - this happened for the first time Christmas morning (such a great gift as I've been trying to get her to say bababa for weeks)
Scoots backwards - December 24
I swear it's something new everyday and it's wonderful!

Here are some photos of my little munchkin ...

Don't mind the mess - baby and dog toys all over the place ... Peyton loves Sammy so much but as you see, he wants nothing to do with her.

I love my baby girl, but man do I look exhausted! LOL

She is such a happy baby. Laughs and smiles ALL the time!

I will do a separate post on Christmas, but I had to share this photo. She is so happy amongst her new toys!

Thanksgiving

I haven't posted in a while - partly because I've been neglectful of writing down the everyday, the milestones and such and partly because my g-mail acct was hijacked and blogger "removed" my blog. I spent days reading online on how to get it back and it looked like it was paperwork after paperwork. I was willing to go through that all because this is the only place I wrote down the ins and outs of my IVF and pregnancy. BUT after I switched my email password and a few days later, I tried the link again and ALAS it worked! It's almost like it was a sign that "hey you better get back on here!"

So I felt the need to write today - it's not going to be a long one - because I need to do some cooking. However given it's Thanksgiving, I have A LOT to be thankful for this year. First and foremost, I'm obviously thankful for my little peanut. She is seriously the best thing I've ever done. She is my best friend, besides my husband - sometimes, there is no one I'd rather be with on any given day. I love watching her grow and learn things each day. Like when she learned to roll from back to belly - it was like a light switch. She just did it once and then was like to herself "hey, that's not too hard" and continued to roll straight across the living room. I'm thankful for the past 6 months and looking forward to each and everyday.

I'm thankful that my pregnancy was pretty easy. I have nothing but fond memories of it (besides the breech and slight scare at the very end) I'm thankful that my first round of IVF actually worked. I'm thankful that my husband has been such a huge help and a huge support for me and now our family. He always pushes me to do the things I may be scared to do. He is the perfect man to share my life with. I'm not sure if he will ever know how much I appreciate him.

Speaking of C, he just walked in and said "what are you doing? Shouldn't you be cooking?" Ha - now I'm going to erase the above few sentences ... haha.

To each and every "friend" - real and bloggy a-like ....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Oh and M at Seriously?! - Happy Belated Canadian Thanksgiving!!! I didn't tell you then, but I'm thankful for you too!!!

All things Peyton

Wow - I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since I last posted. I made excuses for not posting while I was home with baby and swore that once I returned to work, I would begin again ... only to be hammered by work the second I walked through the office door for a month straight.

Here is the gist - I miss Peyton. I miss being home with her. She is at an age when the fun stuff starts - she smiles all the time, giggles, "talks" excessively, she knows me, she is starting to know things around her - her hands, feet, toys, Samson, the TV .... and I only get to see this for about 2 hours a day. I go back and forth about feeling like a shitty Mom b/c I'm working 10 hrs a day to realizing that I actually like my job and feel a sense of normalcy when I'm there. Most mornings I say "I'm not doing this anymore. I'm quitting." as I'm kissing her to pieces either leaving her with C so he can bring her to daycare or when I'm dropping her off at daycare. Then I get to work and am emerged into tons of projects and have no choice but to move on with the day. Then when I pick her up - the days when I'm not working late - she is always the last one in her room, I again feel like a shitty Mom. Then I try to jam what would be a full days of loving on her into a two hr window. I'm still having a hard time balancing this - my "old" career-driven life and the life I wanted and am thrilled to have ... as a mom.

OK -I'm going to stop complaining ... I certainly don't want my first post back after 3 months away to be me bitching.

Peyton is doing wonderfully. She is growing - although she is still a little peanut. I think she weighs somewhere in the 11lbs range. We go on Friday for her well visit. She isn't breastfeeding anymore, however I'm pumping all the time, so she is still just getting breastmilk. She apparently has some kind of milk protein allergy (she had blood in her stool) so I've cut out dairy. (not as easy as it sounds) I haven't introduced any formula b/c I just don't want to rock the boat. She sleeps well - most nights - and only wakes up once a night to feed.

I've been taking pictures of her on her "month" bdays so we can compare her growth. It's crazy to see how much she's grown in the past 4 months ...




It's such a huge difference between 1 and 2 months ... She's such a little baldy.

What else - I'm sure there is tons, but I can't think right now. I'm just so tired. I've been working like crazy and last night, P was up several times last night ... I think she caught a cold. She is super congested and whenever we laid her down, she woke up. So C ended up holding her some of the night and she eventually ended up in the middle of our bed around 5 am.
Anyhow - I'll try to get on here more often. I feel like I'm so out of the loop ... even in my own life!!!

Month 1

OK - I'm going to try to write down the first month ... if I can remember it! Sorry this is going to read a little more like a "journal" entry than an entertaining post as I try to remember everything.

While in the hospital, I felt pretty confident with Peyton. She was breastfeeding like a champ. I was feeling better than I thought I would - I was up and walking around less than 24 hours after her birth. Wasn't sleeping at all, but "hey, it's not that bad." I hated putting her in that clear bucket they call a bassinet, so she slept on me almost all the time. I was counting down the days, then hours until we could be discharged and start our lives all together.

When we got home, I apparently became a different person. I freaked out. I cried and cried and felt so overwhelmed. It was like in the hospital we are on a baby vacation - vacation from the rest of our lives, but once home, it was like the house chores were there, the responsibilities were all there and now with the addition of the biggest responsibility of all - raising a baby. It took a lot out of me to put her down to sleep. I was so use to holding her 24/7, that putting her down for a nap sent me over the edge ... multiple times. I remember saying "I can't do this." And feeling so guilty for feeling that way. I really don't think anyone can REALLY prepare you for caring for a newborn. It's exciting, exhausting, nerve-racking, aggravating, unbelievable ... the list of adjectives could go on and on. I knew it was a 24/7 job, but didn't realize that is was a 24/7 JOB.

The first few weeks consisted of naps, feedings, changing diapers, rocking, fussing, crying (on my part), pain and trying to sleep. Peyton was doing great. She left the hospital weighing 5lbs 7 oz and when we went back two days later, she was up 6 oz - almost to her original birth weight. When we went back at her two week check up, she was up to 6 lbs 6oz. Yay! She was gaining weight. So happy! Everything else was great with her. They were watching her hips - due to the breech position, they weren't 100% in the "socket" so they say we may plan on doing an ultrasound around 2 months to confirm they are growing correctly.

C was becoming the baby whisperer. He knew how to calm her down and in that we found out that she loves the outside. She could be fussing and the second we walked her outside, she became completely calm. Another reason I'm sooo happy that I had her during the summer.

At two weeks, I took her out-out for the first time. First to her ped appt and then a really quick trip to Target. Over the next two weeks, we went out a few more times. To a friends house, to visit work, to BRU - a lot. She is great in the car, in the stroller and on the go. She loves her M.oby Wrap. C loves the wrap too.

We did her first bath after her belly button fell off around 1o days or so. She LOVES the bath!!!

We ran into some breastfeeding issues around 3 1/2 weeks. She seems to be aggravated at how much she needs to work to get the "back end" of the milk. The initial let down is very strong. We are still in the process of trying to "fix" it. But in the interim, I've been pumping and she has been getting breast milk in a bottle. I still try to breast feed her during the day (at night, she nurses fine b/c she is sleepy.) and it's a battle, but one I'm not ready to lose.

She didn't get a one month check up, but we did weight her at home and she was about 7 lbs 2oz give or take. So she gained about 12 oz in two weeks - so good!

I'm sure I'm forgetting things - like she was cross eyed for a bit. She def is going to have brown eyes - like me. I love seeing her smile in her sleep - it is by far the BEST thing ever. She loves her vibrating chair and finally started to enjoy her swing. We have black and white flash cards and she does focus on them. She loves for us to read to her. She is great on tummy time - she has such a strong neck. Hmmm - I know I'm forgetting stuff, but I think this is a good wrap up for the first month.

I will try to get on here at least once a week and update as the days are turning into weeks and soon enough I'll be back at work and she'll be 3 months old!

Catch up - Peyton's Birthday

OK - I have attempted to blog a post three times now and they just sit in my "save now" with a sad little one or two sentences. I haven't had a ton of time to blog - well that's not entirely true - I've chosen to either sleep, eat or clean during those times.

So I'm going to do a few posts catching up this last month.

June 2nd.

OK so after the shock of finding out that the baby was breech, I had amajor breakdown. I know it was selfish, but after saying for 9 months that I didn't want to have a c-section, it was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I was having one. As I mentioned in a previous post, yes all that matters is that my baby is healthy, but I was still upset that I wouldn't experience labor.

June 3rd.

After two days of laying on an iron boarding upside down, "willing" her to flip and a ton of other "remedies", C and I head to the office to get the fetal weight ultrasound. I was positive that Peyton didn't flip - secretly hoping she did, but after discussing it with C, our plan was to wait until I went into labor or my due date (June 9) which ever came first. This way I gave it some time, possibly go into labor even though we would do a c-section, I would be able to experience the "OMG I'm in labor." I felt comfortable with this game plan.

So we went to our appt for the u/s in the morning and then straight from the apptI was meeting a friend for mani/pedi, which I so desperately needed. We go into the ultrasound and the tech sees that she hasn't changed position. She was ready to pull the wand off my belly and I say, "Wait, we are suppose to get her fetal weight and oh, also they mentioned that my fluidwas low on Wednesday." She starts to do the measurements and I'm noticing that all the measurements on off - 32w, 34w, etc. Here I was 39w1d, but I don't jump to conclusions, because hell, I'm not an u/s tech. At the end, she mentions that my fluid is even lower than it was on Wednesday so "she wasn't sure what midwife K wanted to do."

C and I head back to the waiting room to wait to see K, and as we sit down I tell C we are having the baby today or tomorrow. I know when you are term and if you're fluid is low, they would usually induce, but since she was breech, I knew that we were going for a c-sec. My feelings were starting to change. I was realizing that there could be an issue with the baby and now I didn't care how she came, I just wanted her safe. We go into our appt and K says, yup, you're having the baby today. So home, get your bags and head to the hospital, you are already on the surgical board. Wow, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I had JUST finished work the day before and was looking forward to some time off. C and I get in the car and start calling everyone we know. We get home, get our bags and head to the hospital. (damn, I wanted that mani/pedi!)

June 3rd - birth

So I'm all set in the pre-op labor room. My mom came and hung out with us.

I had to quickly get pre-op blood work done. I guess if you are having a scheduled c-sec, you would go in the day or two before and do the blood work. The anesthesiologist comes in and goes over everything with me and then we are on our way. C is all gowned up and we head to the OR. C has to wait outside until they give me the spinal. That took a bit and really wasn't that painful. There was some odd pressure - when they were inserted the tube, I felt it in my right hip ... weird. They scared me with the whole "as soon as we say go, you have to quickly lay down." But it wasn't that bad. I immediately felt all warm and tingly but I could still move my feet. I must have told them 1000 times "I can still move my feet. I can still movemy feet." I was panicked that I wouldn't be completely numb and they would start cutting. Finally they say "Do you feel any pain?" I said "Are you doing something that would be painful?" and they laughed and said "yes" and I was like "Nope - we're good." As soon as I said that, I felt the cut - not the pain, but the feeling of being "unzippered" it was weird. Once they made the first cut, C was allowed in the room.

C sat a little to the side and my midwife L, who was on call and so great to be in the room with me, told everyone that C wanted to watch. He kept giving me play by play - they are cutting you more, they are pulling weird shit out (that was reassuring), they have her butt, there are her legs, etc. Then they say - K look up, here is your baby!

It was definitely anti-climatic. I look up and see this little purple baby - not crying, but coughing. It felt like forever before she cried, but when she did I felt a little tug at my heart. They were checking her out and then called over to C to see her. He kissed my forehead and went over to her.

They bring her over to me. It was a weird feeling. I couldn't wrap her in my arms the way I wanted to, so I did this weird poking thing. haha. But I was glad that they put her on my chest for a bit.

C then leaves the room with Peyton. My midwife leaves to go to other patients. And then I was alone. Man, that feeling sucks. Here you are, laying with a curtain basically on your face, completely numb from the chest down, can't feel yourself breathing, and your belly open on a table. I was on the edge of freaking out a bit, so I started to get myself in a "zen" mode. I concentrated on my breathing, tried to stay awake - I had this weird feeling that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't wake up - praying that they would be finished soon. FINALLY, they were and it was all over. I was headed to recovery, where they told me that they would bring me my baby. I was really concerned about skin-to-skin time. I read and was told that the first hour was very important for that. I was already losing that hour, but I would get her in recovery. Well she never came - apparently there was a back up in the nursery - but I don't think I would have wanted her anyway. My body temp dropped to 94 and they had to put a heating blanket on me and I was sweating like nobody's business. Finally when my temp rose, they started to wheel me out to my room and C was wheeling Peyton into recovery to see me. So they put her on my chest and we made the trip together. When we made it to my room, we got to do skin-to-skin and she made a beeline to my breast and started to feed. It was perfect!

Check out my red nose - those goddamn meds made my nose itch like CRAZZZEEE.

My parents were there, so they came in for a very short period of time. I didn't sleep the first night at all. I just held her. My little peanut.

Next post - the first few days.