Catch up - Peyton's Birthday

OK - I have attempted to blog a post three times now and they just sit in my "save now" with a sad little one or two sentences. I haven't had a ton of time to blog - well that's not entirely true - I've chosen to either sleep, eat or clean during those times.

So I'm going to do a few posts catching up this last month.

June 2nd.

OK so after the shock of finding out that the baby was breech, I had amajor breakdown. I know it was selfish, but after saying for 9 months that I didn't want to have a c-section, it was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I was having one. As I mentioned in a previous post, yes all that matters is that my baby is healthy, but I was still upset that I wouldn't experience labor.

June 3rd.

After two days of laying on an iron boarding upside down, "willing" her to flip and a ton of other "remedies", C and I head to the office to get the fetal weight ultrasound. I was positive that Peyton didn't flip - secretly hoping she did, but after discussing it with C, our plan was to wait until I went into labor or my due date (June 9) which ever came first. This way I gave it some time, possibly go into labor even though we would do a c-section, I would be able to experience the "OMG I'm in labor." I felt comfortable with this game plan.

So we went to our appt for the u/s in the morning and then straight from the apptI was meeting a friend for mani/pedi, which I so desperately needed. We go into the ultrasound and the tech sees that she hasn't changed position. She was ready to pull the wand off my belly and I say, "Wait, we are suppose to get her fetal weight and oh, also they mentioned that my fluidwas low on Wednesday." She starts to do the measurements and I'm noticing that all the measurements on off - 32w, 34w, etc. Here I was 39w1d, but I don't jump to conclusions, because hell, I'm not an u/s tech. At the end, she mentions that my fluid is even lower than it was on Wednesday so "she wasn't sure what midwife K wanted to do."

C and I head back to the waiting room to wait to see K, and as we sit down I tell C we are having the baby today or tomorrow. I know when you are term and if you're fluid is low, they would usually induce, but since she was breech, I knew that we were going for a c-sec. My feelings were starting to change. I was realizing that there could be an issue with the baby and now I didn't care how she came, I just wanted her safe. We go into our appt and K says, yup, you're having the baby today. So home, get your bags and head to the hospital, you are already on the surgical board. Wow, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I had JUST finished work the day before and was looking forward to some time off. C and I get in the car and start calling everyone we know. We get home, get our bags and head to the hospital. (damn, I wanted that mani/pedi!)

June 3rd - birth

So I'm all set in the pre-op labor room. My mom came and hung out with us.

I had to quickly get pre-op blood work done. I guess if you are having a scheduled c-sec, you would go in the day or two before and do the blood work. The anesthesiologist comes in and goes over everything with me and then we are on our way. C is all gowned up and we head to the OR. C has to wait outside until they give me the spinal. That took a bit and really wasn't that painful. There was some odd pressure - when they were inserted the tube, I felt it in my right hip ... weird. They scared me with the whole "as soon as we say go, you have to quickly lay down." But it wasn't that bad. I immediately felt all warm and tingly but I could still move my feet. I must have told them 1000 times "I can still move my feet. I can still movemy feet." I was panicked that I wouldn't be completely numb and they would start cutting. Finally they say "Do you feel any pain?" I said "Are you doing something that would be painful?" and they laughed and said "yes" and I was like "Nope - we're good." As soon as I said that, I felt the cut - not the pain, but the feeling of being "unzippered" it was weird. Once they made the first cut, C was allowed in the room.

C sat a little to the side and my midwife L, who was on call and so great to be in the room with me, told everyone that C wanted to watch. He kept giving me play by play - they are cutting you more, they are pulling weird shit out (that was reassuring), they have her butt, there are her legs, etc. Then they say - K look up, here is your baby!

It was definitely anti-climatic. I look up and see this little purple baby - not crying, but coughing. It felt like forever before she cried, but when she did I felt a little tug at my heart. They were checking her out and then called over to C to see her. He kissed my forehead and went over to her.

They bring her over to me. It was a weird feeling. I couldn't wrap her in my arms the way I wanted to, so I did this weird poking thing. haha. But I was glad that they put her on my chest for a bit.

C then leaves the room with Peyton. My midwife leaves to go to other patients. And then I was alone. Man, that feeling sucks. Here you are, laying with a curtain basically on your face, completely numb from the chest down, can't feel yourself breathing, and your belly open on a table. I was on the edge of freaking out a bit, so I started to get myself in a "zen" mode. I concentrated on my breathing, tried to stay awake - I had this weird feeling that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't wake up - praying that they would be finished soon. FINALLY, they were and it was all over. I was headed to recovery, where they told me that they would bring me my baby. I was really concerned about skin-to-skin time. I read and was told that the first hour was very important for that. I was already losing that hour, but I would get her in recovery. Well she never came - apparently there was a back up in the nursery - but I don't think I would have wanted her anyway. My body temp dropped to 94 and they had to put a heating blanket on me and I was sweating like nobody's business. Finally when my temp rose, they started to wheel me out to my room and C was wheeling Peyton into recovery to see me. So they put her on my chest and we made the trip together. When we made it to my room, we got to do skin-to-skin and she made a beeline to my breast and started to feed. It was perfect!

Check out my red nose - those goddamn meds made my nose itch like CRAZZZEEE.

My parents were there, so they came in for a very short period of time. I didn't sleep the first night at all. I just held her. My little peanut.

Next post - the first few days.