My TTC Story

I always thought I wanted children. I can remember being 19 or 20 and thinking that I would have my first at 22, second at 25 and possibly third at 29. I’d be a mom of three all by the time I was 30. (boy, is hindsight 20/20) All these womb inspired thoughts came along with the fact that I had been with my high school sweetheart for many years and I was going along with the playbook rather than probably doing what I really wanted to do. Four years later, I was single and couldn’t have been more out of the baby making mindset. Then I met my husband, C. He was fun, smart, caring, etc etc, all the things I wanted and more. We moved into together after a few years of dating, got engaged and then married in 2006. I remember getting back from our fantastic honeymoon (Tahiti – AWESOME!) and laying in bed one night and my DH saying “let’s have a baby.” I can recall my exact response – “absolutely not!” I had just finally felt like I wasn’t following a script and was, for the lack of a better word, content. I liked going away. I liked being able to sleep in on the weekends. I liked deciding to run to store on a moments notice without worrying about anything except if my hair looked like shit. I was comfortable with my husband and our life and didn’t “need” a baby to make me happy.
Throughout the next couple of years we had light conversation about starting a family. He was happy either way – I guess I was one on the see-saw. We made the decision to stop birth control, but I made sure we conveniently never hit the mattress “around O time.” Finally in the summer of 2008, we decided to “not-not try” thinking it wouldn’t happen (I have history of Endo) or at least take a while to happen. But Voile! First month I got pregnant. You remember that episode of Friends when Rachel thinks she’s pregnant, and Phoebe lies to her and says it negative and Rachel cries because she realizes that in fact she does want it. (I still love Friends) – that was me. I saw that positive test and all the doubts I had went away and I was so excited to become a mom. Unfortunately I experienced what 20% of women do, a miscarriage. I was just about 8 weeks and obviously devastated.

After that, I made it my life's mission to get pregnant again. I was obsessed to say the least. I was an OPK taking, HPT buying, message board writing, googling fool! C was freaked out - here was his wife, who just a mear four months earlier didn't know if she wanted kids, demanding that he needs to have sex with her even though he was deathly sick. "It's time. It's time!" I was a maniac.

A few months later, right around Christmas, I found out I was pregnant again. "It's a Christmas miracle!" everyone would say to me. I never really got excited like I did with the first one, in fact I had a really bad feeling about it, but choked it up to an emotional effect of the m/c. However, I guess my feeling was right, because at almost 7 weeks, I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was a whirlwind experience. I found out and left the docs office at 1:45pm, I was in the ER at 2 and in surgery by 3:30. They removed my right tube, along with a "perfect looking" baby. Great! 

Finally after 6 months of trying naturally, saw an RE, got on Clomid for 4 months, did an IUI, dumped that RE (as per husband) and saw a new one in Feb '10.

The new RE has confirmed what I have thought going through the Clomid cycles. My right ovary has more eggs in it than my left. (remember my right tube is gone...) So he believes that my success rate with another IUI and injectables is about 9-11%. However with IVF, the chances are around 50%. I like those odds better. So we decided to move onto IVF.