Throwing a wrench into the plan

So as I mentioned last week, there was no progression and they had me scheduled for an ultrasound to double check the position of the baby. I went in this morning thinking, "great I''ll see her little face again, no problem." Well problem. She is breech. Excellent. Going back in my mind, I started to think if I noticed if she turned and there was an instance when I remember saying "what the hell was that." And now I know that was her flipping about 2 weeks ago.

So my midwife, Christie called an OB that was at the hospital and had me go in to have a VERSION. Basically this is him manually moving the baby from the outside of my belly and try to get her flipped around. O.M.G. Was it painful! And not successful. Even though she is little, I don't have a lot of fluid left - not emergency situation - but not enough to make it easy for her to move.

So as I laid there in the hospital bed, recovering from having this OB's fingers jammed in my liver, we discussed our options. 1. We schedule a c-section during the next few days. 2. We wait for a few days and see if she flips herself back around. She isn't engaged in my pelvis, so she can still wiggle around. 3. Wait for me to go into labor and give birth vaginally to a breech baby.

C and I talked through all these options and I asked a lot of opinions of the nurses, one of my midwives, Caitlin (she was there for the procedure), my SIL and BFF after I left. The nurse and that specific midwife kind reassured me that the vaginal birth was doable - since the baby is pretty small and my pelvic opening is a normal size. However, the stars basically need to align for this to happen. I need to go into labor naturally, by the time I reach the hospital I should be 4-5 cm, no epidural to slow things down and I need to progress perfectly. Even if all that happens, the birth would still need to be assisted - forceps, episiotomy, etc. There is a chance that the baby's head would get caught and then the shit hits the fan. So basically, I ruled that out about after an hour of humoring myself with it. C still thinks it's an option. I told him recently, drop it from the table.

So the next option would be go right to the c-section. But I'm not there yet. I still have a little bit of hope left.

So that leaves me with the option I am sticking to right now - wait a few days and see if she flips on her own. I'm doing a ton of different techniques to help her along - lying on an ironing board that's propped up on my couch, upside down. Playing music near my pelvis to draw her down. Applying a bag of frozen peas on the top of my stomach to make her move away from it. Getting on all fours, sticking my butt in the air and swaying my pelvis. Now since I'm so far along, there is only a 5-10% chance she will actually flip back, but my original midwife, Christie is hoping that since she just recently moved into this position, that she may go back. But at the end of our phone call, she said "K, I think you may just have to have a c-section."

Of course I want the baby to come out healthy - bottom line - but I would be lying if I said I wasn't bummed by this all. I've spent 9 months daydream and imagining what my birth would be like and never once did a breech baby appear in it. I never wanted a c-section. I actually was looking forward to experiencing labor. I know this is a small sacrifice considering I get a baby in the end regardless, but I just need a little time to wrap my head around this new plan.