Birthday

So Sunday was my birthday. Yippey - another year older, another year gone, another year without a baby. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who get all depressed about getting another year older. I actually enjoy my birthdays. But it was my birthday two years ago that we decided to SERIOUSLY start trying. I had been off BCP since March and we left those months up to fate, but it was July 18th while on vacation in Sonoma, we decided to really give it a try. And by the magic of wine and perfect timing, I did end up pregnant that month, so for a few weeks I thought it was the greatest birthday gift ever! Well the universe apparently believed in "takies-backies" and now all I'm left with is the date - my birthday - as a reminder of when we started this crazy, exhausting, heart-wrenching journey. (that's me hiking in Sonoma, unbeknownst to me that a little bean was forming.)

So I know you all are wondering how I spent this lovely event ... well I did with some family and good friends. I had a BBQ at my house on Saturday - drank a lot of sangria because besides my younger brother and sister, I was the only one there without children. Yes, I invited all my friends who had kids (because I don't have any without them!) I made sure I bought kid friendly things - chalk, neon bracelets, balls, etc. We have a playground right behind our house, so the kids played there. All in all, it was a fun night and I don't think there were many times that I had a chance to think about my "baby situation" - that's probably due to the numbing effect of the numerous drinks I had.

On Sunday - my actual birthday - I needed to be sans kids (well at least sans babies) so C, my brother and my sister went tubing down the Delaware River. Our parents used to take us all the time. Aside from the fact that you're floating for three hours in river water, it really is a good time. Most of the river is calm and you just go along with the current, but there are parts where there are "rapids" and it's so much fun. Plus it was hot and it was great to spend some time in the sun, but be cool because your backside is always in the water. There is a floating barge in the middle that sells hot dogs and burgers and such. It's a good time. As much as I'm a total beach kid, this was a nice alternative to that. It took up most of the day and I had a really great time. But by the time we got home, grab dinner, and I showered it was after 8PM and the night I had wanted to spend with C alone was gone. I passed out while he was packing and he was gone before I woke up yesterday morning. (He is traveling for work all week.) So as much as I had a great time all weekend, I really didn't get to spend as much alone time with C as I wanted to. Well I guess there's always next year ... though God I hope not!!! I'm not sure I can take another birthday without ANY change in my motherhood quest. Isn't it bad enough that I'll be well into my thirties then???