Something in the Oven ... and it's Done.

Peyton 8 Months

2012-02-03T21:30:00.002-05:00

Weight
15lbs 4oz (6th percentile)

Height
26" (17th percentile)

Diaper size
2's - she has the cutest tush

Clothing size
3-6 months in baby gap; 6 months in carter's;

Feeding Schedule
8 am - 7oz formula

10am - 2oz oatmeal, 2oz fruit, some water

12pm - 7oz

4pm - 7oz

6pm - 2 oz "dinner" (chicken mixed with veggies); 2oz veggies, some water

Tomorrow we are starting a third solid feeding at 2pm.

Sleep
Still sleeping thru the night. She has been getting up at night due to teething or something. I've been seeing a lot of 4ams lately.

Favorite toy/entertainment
She loves her Dance Wiggle dog - I don't know what the real name is, but you know what I'm talking about. She loves ABC blocks and my iTouch with Laugh and Learn apps.

Milestones
First tooth - Jan 18th

Creeping around - almost crawling - mid January

Starting to clap - just a few days ago

None more deserving than she

2012-02-02T21:26:00.003-05:00

In this trying world of IF, you “meet” lots of different people. You feel a connection with other women going through the same or similar thing. In my case it was because no one in my real life understood; I needed to feel like I wasn’t alone. You join message boards and start blogs sharing your most intimate, deepest feelings/secrets/moments with, essentially complete strangers. You don’t think that these “web-friendships” will ever turn into anything more. Except I couldn’t have been more wrong. I found a connection with a bunch of ladies and I have a feeling we will always keep in touch – but there is one woman that I felt like I knew (M at Seriously?!). I got her. She got me. I confided in her more than I did my closest “real” friends. We cried and laughed and we wished together for the one thing we were both missing – a family. I swear the only reason we have never met is because we live on opposite sides of the country, her in fact, in another country! But we talked and daydreamed about our meeting and all the fun we would have.

When my dream of wanting a baby started to become a reality, she was nothing but a solid cheerleader for me. Sending me well wishes along the way. Calming my fears. All while struggling still with the beast of IF. She has been dealt a difficult hand and I don’t think there is ANYONE more deserving of a family – she is loving, funny, motherly and kind.

Well a few days ago, after many years of trying, waiting and agonizing, her wish finally came true. Her daughter was born. I can’t even describe how happy I am for her. Words seem so little in comparison of how I feel. I wish I could jump on a plane and head over there just to give her the biggest hug ever. She is going to be a fantastic mother.

I know you are holding your breath, waiting anxiously for the weeks to pass before there is no turning back, but I know that this little one will forever be in your arms.

So here is to you my friend, M – Enjoy! Enjoy it all. The tiny toes, the softest skin and the heart that has stolen yours. xoxo

Pumping 101 (or Advanced Cardio)

2012-01-23T16:54:00.001-05:00

I haven’t really touched on the subject of pumping except for a few months ago when I mentioned that I wasn’t breastfeeding anymore, just pumping. Well the long story was that P, around 4 weeks old, was refusing the boob. She would start nursing and then after the initial letdown, she would pull off and scream and cry. Our “magical moments” of nursing turned into a nightmare that lasted over an hour long and ended with both of us crying. I called every lactation consultant I knew. I went and nursed in front of one and the conclusion we all came to was that I had a strong letdown and then P was getting pissed that she had to actually do a little work to get the rest of it out. I had a few LC tell me that I needed to stop pumping, stop giving a random bottle and go back to a strict boob to mouth relationship – even if it took “3 – 5 weeks” … um, when this was going down, I had about 8 more weeks of maternity leave and then I would be giving bottles all the time anyhow. I couldn’t imagine going through another feeding of the screaming, let alone 5 WEEKS of it!

So I decided to pump and supplement with formula if I had to. What I didn’t realize was that P would have a milk protein allergy. So after giving her 3 oz of formula over three days (if what I pumped was low, I’d put in 1 oz of form) she started to have blood in her stool. Great! So long story short, I couldn’t bare to give her the hypo allergic stuff that smelt like Cheez-Its, so I hunkered in and started a pumping routine. Not how I envisioned giving her breast milk, but it would have to do. And if I say so myself, I did pretty well.

I started out pumping every 2-3 hours to get my supply up, then every 3 hours, then every 4. In the beginning, until mid September (after I returned to work) I would nurse her in the middle of the night. She was sleepy so she didn’t care about how fast or slow it was coming out. But eventually when the supply wasn’t working for her, she started to wake up every hour or so looking for food and being back at work, this didn’t fly with me. So I then started to pump in the middle of the night. It was tiring. It was stupid (I would pump, put it in a bottle and C would feed her) Eventually I got on a schedule – Woke up at 7, pumped; Went to work; pump at 11, pump at 3; pick up P; pump at 7; Stay up to 11; pump – leave pumped milk out in case P woke up before I did in the middle of the night; pump at 3AM; put 11PM milk in fridge, now have 3AM milk to feed when she woke at 4AM to eat. (my supply was pretty good – I was getting a solid 28-30oz a day, so I had enough to feed her and I could add to my freezer stash) I was getting in, at best, 3.5 hours blocks of sleep. This did not make for a productive lady during the day. I did this – EVEN after P left our room in November and started sleeping through the night (I still left out a bottle in case she woke up hungry.) I vowed to stick to this until she turned 6 months old. I would have LOVED to nurse her until a year old, but I couldn’t do another 6 months of this. So I started around mid November to alter my pumping schedule. I started to increase the time between until I eventually stopped pumping on December 7^th. I was sad. I couldn’t believe it was over. I no longer possessed the ability to feed my child. Def sadder than I thought I’d be. But nonetheless, I did 6 months and felt pretty good about it. I started mixing in the hypo allergic formula – which to my surprise she took to seamlessly. I went through my stash and completely switched her over two days before Xmas.

NOW to the point of my post. I gained a total of 23 lbs during my pregnancy. I was expecting to lose a good portion after delivering her, but to my surprise when I jumped on the scale the day I got home from the hospital and I had only lost about 7-8 lbs. However the following weeks I saw the scale number drop, drop and drop. Man this pumping thing rocked! When I surpassed my pre-pregnancy weight I was thrilled. When I saw I was 10 lbs lighter than when I started the IVF process, I was over the moon! I didn’t exercise – I mean who has the time. I wanted to sleep when the time arose! I was fitting into clothes I couldn’t wear the summer before. This was amazing! I was eating like shit – however I had cut out all dairy b/c P had the milk protein allergy – but I was living off potato chips and candy! Seriously!! But the pounds just stayed off.

And then I stopped pumping.

1. My boobs were no longer milk-fabulous and perky. They were worn out and sloppy. The amount of abuse I put them through with pumping started to show. They are straight up African tribe looking. I wonder if National Geographic will come knocking soon!

2. I got my period. I SERIOUSLY forgot all about it. I hadn’t had it in over 14 months and it was wonderful! In fact when I got it, it was like I was 13 again and didn’t know how to handle it. I was running to the bathroom all the time, swearing that I was leaking. Fun stuff.

3. Hmmmm. My pants were starting to get tighter. That’s weird. I pondered that until I got on the scale and saw that I was 6 lbs heavier than I was just a mere 3 weeks earlier! Holy Shit. My stomach was falling over the top of my jeans. My bra straps were showing the ever growing back fat that came home from a long vacation. This was terrible. Even though I was/am still lower than my pre-pregnancy weight, I look so much worse! I’m soft … ALL over! I can’t get throughout the day without pulling up pants, pulling down a shirt, shifting a bra, etc.

I really took for granted the power of the pump! I have a ton of shouldas-wouldas (should have worked out while pumping; would have been able to lose more weight, etc.) but I just didn’t realize how quickly the weight would come back on. So I’m in the mist of getting back on the cardio train. I’m having trouble finding the time between working, wanting to spend quality time with P and C and of course, sleeping to work out. I know moms do it. And I know it’s just rearranging the schedule a bit … and as I start to sweat the pounds away, all I think about it is DAMN I wish I were still pumping!

And we're off ...

2012-01-02T21:46:00.002-05:00

C and I are in the throes of packing up the last minute stuff before we go to bed. We are taking Peyton on her first plane trip tomorrow morning. We are headed off to Florida to visit my dad and stepmom. I'm excited about this trip for many reasons.

One - we are heading out of this cold place and going to hit up the warm weather! (Actually I don't think it's suppose to be all that warm tomorrow there but still a hell of a lot better than home's temp <25 degrees!!!>)

Two - I'm excited to take Peyton on a plane. I know she will NEVER remember this, but still I will like telling her about this experience - I didn't go on my first plane trip until I was 19.

Three - Obviously excited to see my dad and spend some time with him. Excited to see his house - he recently built a home in a retirement community. Apparently this community is like a big college for retired people. Lots of mid day drinking, golfing, lunching, golfing, drinking, etc. Hopefully it should be a good time!

And fourth - this is a big one ... C and I are leaving Peyton with my dad and stepmom for two nights and heading over to the gulf for a little get away. This will be the very first time I'm away from her overnight. Let alone two nights! I think I'll be OK, but who knows. Luckily we are only a car drive away so if I'm desperately missing her, we could always pop in the car and head back to my dad's. OR I'll just drink as soon as we get to the resort and relish in the fact that I sleep in and nap whenever I want to! :)

Anyhow, I'll post in a week or so, hopefully with some pics of me with a tan!!! LOL. Enjoy your week ladies!!

6 months of Peyton

2011-12-27T10:06:00.005-05:00

I use to be such a good blogger. When I was pregnant, I use to update at least once a week, if not more. Having those weekly update commitments made me get on here and do it. So I saw this on another blog and thought, hey this is a way to kick start my entry back into the blog world. I'm going to do a catch up of the last 6 months and then hopefully will remember to do a monthly update.

Peyton - 6 months (she is technically 6m3w, but whatever)

Weight
Birth - 5lbs 15oz (Came home at 5lbs 7oz)
6 months - 14lbs 1oz

Height
Birth - 18 7/8"
6 months - 24.5"

Diaper size
1's but just starting to move up to 2's - especially at night.

Clothing size
Lots of 3 months, 3-6 months. Footie pjs she is in 6 months.
We are going to Florida next week and she can finally wear some of the things people got her for this past summer (0-3 month dresses) I tried them on her last night - they still fit!

Feeding Schedule
I weaned her off of breast milk onto to the hypo allergic formula (A.limentum) starting at her 6 month birthday. As of two days ago, she is now completely off of breast milk (I stopped pumping on Dec 5th and have used up all of my freezer stash.) This is her current schedule:
8am - 7oz bottle; 10am - 3 tbsp oat cereal with 1 tbsp fruit; 12noon - 6oz bottle; 4pm - 6oz bottle; 6pm - 3 tbsp oat cereal with 1 tbsp veggies; 8pm - 7oz bottle.
She has tried a lot of fruits and veggies. So far, she isn't a huge fan of fruits - loves all the veggies. Peas seem to be her favorite! She is super cute eating them too!

Sleep
Peyton sleeps through the night. We put her in her crib - out of our room- when she turned 5 months. She goes down anywhere from 8:15-9pm and sleeps until 7-7:45am. There are the few occasions when she's still sleeping at 8 and we have to wake her. And of course there are times when she wakes up in the middle of the night - we do let her fuss for a few minutes and most of the time she just goes right back to sleep. If she starts to cry, I will go in and rock her.
She still naps like a champ. She takes a 30-60 min nap in the morning; a 1/5-2 hr nap in the afternoon and a 30 min catnap in the evening. She is pretty consistent on the eat, play, sleep schedule.

Daily Routine
Peyton goes to daycare 4 days a week. I know they do a lot of activities with her - we are always getting little projects that have her hand and feet prints on them. When she is home with us, other than the feeding and sleeping schedule is on, there really isn't any daily routine. We play together, go shopping together, read, etc. I let her play independently for at least 30 mins a day, so she knows how to entertain herself. The only other routine is bedtime - bath, reading or singing, eating and then I rock her a minute or two and then put her in her crib.

Hair/Eye color
Eyes are brown. Dark brown. Her hair is coming in light brown, but who knows what it will turn out to be. I was a platinum blonde as a kid and C has black hair ... we'll see.

Favorite toy/entertainment
Peyton loves her ExerSaucer. She has a few toys she plays with a lot. And she loves her taggie blanket.

Milestones
Rolled over from back to belly - Early Nov
Sat up unassisted - Mid December

Gets up on all fours and rocks - December 20
Started solids 4 days before 6 month birthday
Says "ba-ba-ba" - this happened for the first time Christmas morning (such a great gift as I've been trying to get her to say bababa for weeks)
Scoots backwards - December 24
I swear it's something new everyday and it's wonderful!

Here are some photos of my little munchkin ...

Don't mind the mess - baby and dog toys all over the place ... Peyton loves Sammy so much but as you see, he wants nothing to do with her.

I love my baby girl, but man do I look exhausted! LOL

She is such a happy baby. Laughs and smiles ALL the time!

I will do a separate post on Christmas, but I had to share this photo. She is so happy amongst her new toys!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T12:51:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in a while - partly because I've been neglectful of writing down the everyday, the milestones and such and partly because my g-mail acct was hijacked and blogger "removed" my blog. I spent days reading online on how to get it back and it looked like it was paperwork after paperwork. I was willing to go through that all because this is the only place I wrote down the ins and outs of my IVF and pregnancy. BUT after I switched my email password and a few days later, I tried the link again and ALAS it worked! It's almost like it was a sign that "hey you better get back on here!"

So I felt the need to write today - it's not going to be a long one - because I need to do some cooking. However given it's Thanksgiving, I have A LOT to be thankful for this year. First and foremost, I'm obviously thankful for my little peanut. She is seriously the best thing I've ever done. She is my best friend, besides my husband - sometimes, there is no one I'd rather be with on any given day. I love watching her grow and learn things each day. Like when she learned to roll from back to belly - it was like a light switch. She just did it once and then was like to herself "hey, that's not too hard" and continued to roll straight across the living room. I'm thankful for the past 6 months and looking forward to each and everyday.

I'm thankful that my pregnancy was pretty easy. I have nothing but fond memories of it (besides the breech and slight scare at the very end) I'm thankful that my first round of IVF actually worked. I'm thankful that my husband has been such a huge help and a huge support for me and now our family. He always pushes me to do the things I may be scared to do. He is the perfect man to share my life with. I'm not sure if he will ever know how much I appreciate him.

Speaking of C, he just walked in and said "what are you doing? Shouldn't you be cooking?" Ha - now I'm going to erase the above few sentences ... haha.

To each and every "friend" - real and bloggy a-like ....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Oh and M at Seriously?! - Happy Belated Canadian Thanksgiving!!! I didn't tell you then, but I'm thankful for you too!!!

All things Peyton

2011-10-04T15:08:00.004-04:00

Wow - I can't believe it's been almost 3 months since I last posted. I made excuses for not posting while I was home with baby and swore that once I returned to work, I would begin again ... only to be hammered by work the second I walked through the office door for a month straight.

Here is the gist - I miss Peyton. I miss being home with her. She is at an age when the fun stuff starts - she smiles all the time, giggles, "talks" excessively, she knows me, she is starting to know things around her - her hands, feet, toys, Samson, the TV .... and I only get to see this for about 2 hours a day. I go back and forth about feeling like a shitty Mom b/c I'm working 10 hrs a day to realizing that I actually like my job and feel a sense of normalcy when I'm there. Most mornings I say "I'm not doing this anymore. I'm quitting." as I'm kissing her to pieces either leaving her with C so he can bring her to daycare or when I'm dropping her off at daycare. Then I get to work and am emerged into tons of projects and have no choice but to move on with the day. Then when I pick her up - the days when I'm not working late - she is always the last one in her room, I again feel like a shitty Mom. Then I try to jam what would be a full days of loving on her into a two hr window. I'm still having a hard time balancing this - my "old" career-driven life and the life I wanted and am thrilled to have ... as a mom.

OK -I'm going to stop complaining ... I certainly don't want my first post back after 3 months away to be me bitching.

Peyton is doing wonderfully. She is growing - although she is still a little peanut. I think she weighs somewhere in the 11lbs range. We go on Friday for her well visit. She isn't breastfeeding anymore, however I'm pumping all the time, so she is still just getting breastmilk. She apparently has some kind of milk protein allergy (she had blood in her stool) so I've cut out dairy. (not as easy as it sounds) I haven't introduced any formula b/c I just don't want to rock the boat. She sleeps well - most nights - and only wakes up once a night to feed.

I've been taking pictures of her on her "month" bdays so we can compare her growth. It's crazy to see how much she's grown in the past 4 months ...

It's such a huge difference between 1 and 2 months ... She's such a little baldy.

What else - I'm sure there is tons, but I can't think right now. I'm just so tired. I've been working like crazy and last night, P was up several times last night ... I think she caught a cold. She is super congested and whenever we laid her down, she woke up. So C ended up holding her some of the night and she eventually ended up in the middle of our bed around 5 am.
Anyhow - I'll try to get on here more often. I feel like I'm so out of the loop ... even in my own life!!!

Month 1

2011-07-13T14:53:00.008-04:00

OK - I'm going to try to write down the first month ... if I can remember it! Sorry this is going to read a little more like a "journal" entry than an entertaining post as I try to remember everything.

While in the hospital, I felt pretty confident with Peyton. She was breastfeeding like a champ. I was feeling better than I thought I would - I was up and walking around less than 24 hours after her birth. Wasn't sleeping at all, but "hey, it's not that bad." I hated putting her in that clear bucket they call a bassinet, so she slept on me almost all the time. I was counting down the days, then hours until we could be discharged and start our lives all together.

When we got home, I apparently became a different person. I freaked out. I cried and cried and felt so overwhelmed. It was like in the hospital we are on a baby vacation - vacation from the rest of our lives, but once home, it was like the house chores were there, the responsibilities were all there and now with the addition of the biggest responsibility of all - raising a baby. It took a lot out of me to put her down to sleep. I was so use to holding her 24/7, that putting her down for a nap sent me over the edge ... multiple times. I remember saying "I can't do this." And feeling so guilty for feeling that way. I really don't think anyone can REALLY prepare you for caring for a newborn. It's exciting, exhausting, nerve-racking, aggravating, unbelievable ... the list of adjectives could go on and on. I knew it was a 24/7 job, but didn't realize that is was a 24/7 JOB.

The first few weeks consisted of naps, feedings, changing diapers, rocking, fussing, crying (on my part), pain and trying to sleep. Peyton was doing great. She left the hospital weighing 5lbs 7 oz and when we went back two days later, she was up 6 oz - almost to her original birth weight. When we went back at her two week check up, she was up to 6 lbs 6oz. Yay! She was gaining weight. So happy! Everything else was great with her. They were watching her hips - due to the breech position, they weren't 100% in the "socket" so they say we may plan on doing an ultrasound around 2 months to confirm they are growing correctly.

C was becoming the baby whisperer. He knew how to calm her down and in that we found out that she loves the outside. She could be fussing and the second we walked her outside, she became completely calm. Another reason I'm sooo happy that I had her during the summer.

At two weeks, I took her out-out for the first time. First to her ped appt and then a really quick trip to Target. Over the next two weeks, we went out a few more times. To a friends house, to visit work, to BRU - a lot. She is great in the car, in the stroller and on the go. She loves her M.oby Wrap. C loves the wrap too.

We did her first bath after her belly button fell off around 1o days or so. She LOVES the bath!!!

We ran into some breastfeeding issues around 3 1/2 weeks. She seems to be aggravated at how much she needs to work to get the "back end" of the milk. The initial let down is very strong. We are still in the process of trying to "fix" it. But in the interim, I've been pumping and she has been getting breast milk in a bottle. I still try to breast feed her during the day (at night, she nurses fine b/c she is sleepy.) and it's a battle, but one I'm not ready to lose.

She didn't get a one month check up, but we did weight her at home and she was about 7 lbs 2oz give or take. So she gained about 12 oz in two weeks - so good!

I'm sure I'm forgetting things - like she was cross eyed for a bit. She def is going to have brown eyes - like me. I love seeing her smile in her sleep - it is by far the BEST thing ever. She loves her vibrating chair and finally started to enjoy her swing. We have black and white flash cards and she does focus on them. She loves for us to read to her. She is great on tummy time - she has such a strong neck. Hmmm - I know I'm forgetting stuff, but I think this is a good wrap up for the first month.

I will try to get on here at least once a week and update as the days are turning into weeks and soon enough I'll be back at work and she'll be 3 months old!

Catch up - Peyton's Birthday

2011-07-02T10:36:00.011-04:00

OK - I have attempted to blog a post three times now and they just sit in my "save now" with a sad little one or two sentences. I haven't had a ton of time to blog - well that's not entirely true - I've chosen to either sleep, eat or clean during those times.

So I'm going to do a few posts catching up this last month.

June 2nd.

OK so after the shock of finding out that the baby was breech, I had amajor breakdown. I know it was selfish, but after saying for 9 months that I didn't want to have a c-section, it was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I was having one. As I mentioned in a previous post, yes all that matters is that my baby is healthy, but I was still upset that I wouldn't experience labor.

June 3rd.

After two days of laying on an iron boarding upside down, "willing" her to flip and a ton of other "remedies", C and I head to the office to get the fetal weight ultrasound. I was positive that Peyton didn't flip - secretly hoping she did, but after discussing it with C, our plan was to wait until I went into labor or my due date (June 9) which ever came first. This way I gave it some time, possibly go into labor even though we would do a c-section, I would be able to experience the "OMG I'm in labor." I felt comfortable with this game plan.

So we went to our appt for the u/s in the morning and then straight from the apptI was meeting a friend for mani/pedi, which I so desperately needed. We go into the ultrasound and the tech sees that she hasn't changed position. She was ready to pull the wand off my belly and I say, "Wait, we are suppose to get her fetal weight and oh, also they mentioned that my fluidwas low on Wednesday." She starts to do the measurements and I'm noticing that all the measurements on off - 32w, 34w, etc. Here I was 39w1d, but I don't jump to conclusions, because hell, I'm not an u/s tech. At the end, she mentions that my fluid is even lower than it was on Wednesday so "she wasn't sure what midwife K wanted to do."

C and I head back to the waiting room to wait to see K, and as we sit down I tell C we are having the baby today or tomorrow. I know when you are term and if you're fluid is low, they would usually induce, but since she was breech, I knew that we were going for a c-sec. My feelings were starting to change. I was realizing that there could be an issue with the baby and now I didn't care how she came, I just wanted her safe. We go into our appt and K says, yup, you're having the baby today. So home, get your bags and head to the hospital, you are already on the surgical board. Wow, I certainly wasn't expecting this. I had JUST finished work the day before and was looking forward to some time off. C and I get in the car and start calling everyone we know. We get home, get our bags and head to the hospital. (damn, I wanted that mani/pedi!)

June 3rd - birth

So I'm all set in the pre-op labor room. My mom came and hung out with us.

I had to quickly get pre-op blood work done. I guess if you are having a scheduled c-sec, you would go in the day or two before and do the blood work. The anesthesiologist comes in and goes over everything with me and then we are on our way. C is all gowned up and we head to the OR. C has to wait outside until they give me the spinal. That took a bit and really wasn't that painful. There was some odd pressure - when they were inserted the tube, I felt it in my right hip ... weird. They scared me with the whole "as soon as we say go, you have to quickly lay down." But it wasn't that bad. I immediately felt all warm and tingly but I could still move my feet. I must have told them 1000 times "I can still move my feet. I can still movemy feet." I was panicked that I wouldn't be completely numb and they would start cutting. Finally they say "Do you feel any pain?" I said "Are you doing something that would be painful?" and they laughed and said "yes" and I was like "Nope - we're good." As soon as I said that, I felt the cut - not the pain, but the feeling of being "unzippered" it was weird. Once they made the first cut, C was allowed in the room.

C sat a little to the side and my midwife L, who was on call and so great to be in the room with me, told everyone that C wanted to watch. He kept giving me play by play - they are cutting you more, they are pulling weird shit out (that was reassuring), they have her butt, there are her legs, etc. Then they say - K look up, here is your baby!

It was definitely anti-climatic. I look up and see this little purple baby - not crying, but coughing. It felt like forever before she cried, but when she did I felt a little tug at my heart. They were checking her out and then called over to C to see her. He kissed my forehead and went over to her. Her little legs were all spread eagle b/c of the breech position.

They bring her over to me. It was a weird feeling. I couldn't wrap her in my arms the way I wanted to, so I did this weird poking thing. haha. But I was glad that they put her on my chest for a bit.

C then leaves the room with Peyton. My midwife leaves to go to other patients. And then I was alone. Man, that feeling sucks. Here you are, laying with a curtain basically on your face, completely numb from the chest down, can't feel yourself breathing, and your belly open on a table. I was on the edge of freaking out a bit, so I started to get myself in a "zen" mode. I concentrated on my breathing, tried to stay awake - I had this weird feeling that if I fell asleep, I wouldn't wake up - praying that they would be finished soon. FINALLY, they were and it was all over. I was headed to recovery, where they told me that they would bring me my baby. I was really concerned about skin-to-skin time. I read and was told that the first hour was very important for that. I was already losing that hour, but I would get her in recovery. Well she never came - apparently there was a back up in the nursery - but I don't think I would have wanted her anyway. My body temp dropped to 94 and they had to put a heating blanket on me and I was sweating like nobody's business. Finally when my temp rose, they started to wheel me out to my room and C was wheeling Peyton into recovery to see me. So they put her on my chest and we made the trip together. When we made it to my room, we got to do skin-to-skin and she made a beeline to my breast and started to feed. It was perfect!

Check out my red nose - those goddamn meds made my nose itch like CRAZZZEEE.

My parents were there, so they came in for a very short period of time. I didn't sleep the first night at all. I just held her. My little peanut.

Next post - the first few days.

Father's Day

2011-06-19T16:59:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't posted in a while. I promise to soon - I want to write about the first nights with Peyton before they become a distant memory because of the sleep deprivation. LOL. But I took this photo today of C with our two babies and thought it was too precious not to share with my bloggy friends ...

A few pics

2011-06-08T19:12:00.004-04:00

I know I've been terrible about getting pictures up here for you guys. I've been taking a ton with my iphone. I only today pulled out my good camera. Unfortunately these aren't those photos ... haha.

Here is our little peanut.

Peyton is here!

2011-06-07T12:16:00.001-04:00

I wanted to jump on really quick and let you all know that my little peanut made her debut on Friday, June 3rd - 6 days early.

So we went to the appt for Friday morning to get an ultrasound to confirm fetal weight. She was still breech (as you know I was hoping she would have changed) and my fluid was even lowered than it was on Wednesday. And on top of that, she was measuring below the 10th percentile so they just wanted to get her out - they called the hospital and put me on the surgical board. So I left the docs office around 11:30. We went home, I straightened up a bit. We grabbed our bags and we in the hospital by 12:15. I had a textbook c-sec and she was born at 3:37pm. She weighted 5lbs 15oz and was just under 19" long.

She is doing really well - she is just a little small, so they are watching her weight gain. She got down to 5lbs 7oz by the time we left. But I'm not concerned about her gaining weight b/c she is an EATER! I'm doing well. Sore, but trying to move around a lot to make sure the healing is continuing. Anyhow, I'll post some pics in a bit. I just need to find some time to do so.

I can't believe she is here!

Throwing a wrench into the plan

2011-06-01T18:10:00.001-04:00

So as I mentioned last week, there was no progression and they had me scheduled for an ultrasound to double check the position of the baby. I went in this morning thinking, "great I''ll see her little face again, no problem." Well problem. She is breech. Excellent. Going back in my mind, I started to think if I noticed if she turned and there was an instance when I remember saying "what the hell was that." And now I know that was her flipping about 2 weeks ago.

So my midwife, Christie called an OB that was at the hospital and had me go in to have a VERSION. Basically this is him manually moving the baby from the outside of my belly and try to get her flipped around. O.M.G. Was it painful! And not successful. Even though she is little, I don't have a lot of fluid left - not emergency situation - but not enough to make it easy for her to move.

So as I laid there in the hospital bed, recovering from having this OB's fingers jammed in my liver, we discussed our options. 1. We schedule a c-section during the next few days. 2. We wait for a few days and see if she flips herself back around. She isn't engaged in my pelvis, so she can still wiggle around. 3. Wait for me to go into labor and give birth vaginally to a breech baby.

C and I talked through all these options and I asked a lot of opinions of the nurses, one of my midwives, Caitlin (she was there for the procedure), my SIL and BFF after I left. The nurse and that specific midwife kind reassured me that the vaginal birth was doable - since the baby is pretty small and my pelvic opening is a normal size. However, the stars basically need to align for this to happen. I need to go into labor naturally, by the time I reach the hospital I should be 4-5 cm, no epidural to slow things down and I need to progress perfectly. Even if all that happens, the birth would still need to be assisted - forceps, episiotomy, etc. There is a chance that the baby's head would get caught and then the shit hits the fan. So basically, I ruled that out about after an hour of humoring myself with it. C still thinks it's an option. I told him recently, drop it from the table.

So the next option would be go right to the c-section. But I'm not there yet. I still have a little bit of hope left.

So that leaves me with the option I am sticking to right now - wait a few days and see if she flips on her own. I'm doing a ton of different techniques to help her along - lying on an ironing board that's propped up on my couch, upside down. Playing music near my pelvis to draw her down. Applying a bag of frozen peas on the top of my stomach to make her move away from it. Getting on all fours, sticking my butt in the air and swaying my pelvis. Now since I'm so far along, there is only a 5-10% chance she will actually flip back, but my original midwife, Christie is hoping that since she just recently moved into this position, that she may go back. But at the end of our phone call, she said "K, I think you may just have to have a c-section."

Of course I want the baby to come out healthy - bottom line - but I would be lying if I said I wasn't bummed by this all. I've spent 9 months daydream and imagining what my birth would be like and never once did a breech baby appear in it. I never wanted a c-section. I actually was looking forward to experiencing labor. I know this is a small sacrifice considering I get a baby in the end regardless, but I just need a little time to wrap my head around this new plan.

Position and Dilation?

2011-05-27T16:19:00.003-04:00

I have been having a lot of cramping, pressure and shooting pains in my va-gee, so when I went to my midwife appt today, I was excited to hear what kind of progression I have made. First off, my BP was a little high - 130/83. My BP has been excellent throughout the whole pregnancy (110/65), so I was concerned about how high it was. My midwife wasn't really. She thinks because I was running errands this morning and it's 90 degrees, might be the factor, but told me to watch out for weird symptoms - headaches, chest pains, blurred vision, etc. Wonderful.

She measured my belly and did say that I dropped a little bit. Then she felt my belly for the baby and for the first time in 6 weeks, started to question whether or not the baby is head down. What?? I can't imagine the little bulge I've been feeling near my lungs is her head - sometimes I question if it's even her butt because it feels so small. So anyway, she tried to get me into an ultrasound to check, but since it's the Friday before Memorial Day, the u/s tech in the office was gone. She then checked my cervix and figured that she should be able to tell if it's the head internally. That's not so much fun ... def hurts, but I was anticipating the pain from reading message boards and blogs. She said that she is 98% sure the head is down, but still wants me to come in on Wednesday for a ultrasound to check position. Anyhow - she said my cervix is very soft, but no dilation yet! Ahhhh ... I swore that there would have been something, but I guess I'm still 13 days before my due date, so I have some time. I guess I shouldn't try to rush it.

So I will update again after my next appt. And hopefully I'll have another photo of Peyton to share. :)

38 weeks

2011-05-26T11:44:00.004-04:00

How Far Along: 38 weeks ... just two short weeks!

Size of baby: Month 9 (Week 36 - Delivery) Baby is the size of a watermelon. Average size: 18.9-20.9 in, 6.2-9.2 lb

38w - Peyton has really plumped up. She (approx.) weighs about 6.8 pounds and she's over 19 1/2 inches long. She has a firm grasp, which I'll soon be able to test when I hold her hand for the first time! Her organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb.

I still think Peyton is going to be small despite the conversation I had today with a coworker - she thinks I'm having a 9lb baby ... she must be on drugs.

Maternity Clothes: Yup - As much as I'm tired of sporting the same wardrobe week after week, I have to say I will miss the coziness of the stretchy waist. I can't believe I have to go back to buttons and zippers! :)

Weight Gain: I actually didn't gain any weight this week. I'm actually only at 18lbs (I read my chart on Friday)

Belly: It's weird - those maternity photos make my belly look huge!!! Here - not so much!

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. Still lathering on the lotions and oils. I'm not out of the woods yet ... I still check everyday.

Sleep: Sleep is OK. I'm exhausted during the day, but it's not for the lack of sleep. Well maybe it's for the lack of straight sleep. I wake up a few times during the night to adjust my position and/or go to the bathroom and/or to fight off a leg cramp.

Best Moment of the Week: Knowing that today is my "last" day of work. Next week I will come in only to clean my office, file emails, and shadow my freelancer.

Movement: She has been moving a lot actually. Lots of squirming around. I wonder if she is either moving herself downward and trying to escape or if it's simply she has gotten bigger, so I feel more of the movement.

Symptoms: Cramping, pressure, gas. Lots going on in my mid region.

Food cravings: I still love food.

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Sleeping on my stomach. And honestly not having all the attention drawn to my stomach. I will not miss random people touching me.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Everything. Finishing work. Labor starting. The birth. Holding her for the first time. Seeing what she looks like.

Weekly Wisdom: Start a birth date and such pool - it's funny to hear what everyone thinks. I've gotten as early as tomorrow and as late as June 19th!

Milestones: I'm in the two week countdown!

Emotions: Excited. Anxious. Impatient for it all to happen. I want to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy but I want her to be here already. C said to me this morning "When is this baby coming? Stop hogging her and share her!" He is too cute.

Maternity Photos

2011-05-22T18:17:00.005-04:00

I had a makeshift maternity session with my younger sister. She is a really great photographer, however, it was hard to take her seriously b/c she is my sister. haha. They aren't the best photos, but at least I have them for memory. And man, does my belly look huge! LOL.

And of course I had to take a picture of me and my two babies ...

37 weeks

2011-05-19T10:13:00.002-04:00

How Far Along: 37 weeks - FULL TERM!

Size of baby: Month 9 (Week 36 - Delivery) Baby is the size of a watermelon. Average size: 18.9-20.9 in, 6.2-9.2 lb

37w - Peyton is now considered "full term," even though my due date is three weeks away. If I go into labor now, her lungs will likely be mature enough to fully adjust to life outside the womb.

Peyton weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel. Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But I shouldn't be surprise if her hair isn't the same color as mine ... and honestly I'm expecting it to be black, just like Daddy.

Maternity Clothes: Yup - As much as I'm tired of sporting the same wardrobe week after week, I have to say I will miss the coziness of the stretchy waist. I can't believe I have to go back to buttons and zippers! :)

Weight Gain: Another pound ... I've hit the 20 lb mark.

Belly: I had my appt on Friday and the midwife felt my belly and said "You are not having a big baby. This one is small." I kind of figured that - C and I were both 6lbs and some change. I guess we will see if she is right soon.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. Still lathering on the lotions and oils.

Sleep: Sleep is OK. I'm exhausted during the day, but it's not for the lack of sleep. Well maybe it's for the lack of straight sleep. I wake up a few times during the night to adjust my position and/or go to the bathroom and/or to fight off a leg cramp.

Best Moment of the Week: C and I laying in bed last night and I was on my side, and he was "spooning" me and holding my belly and he said "I just love her so much already." That really put a smile on my face (especially after the day I had - see previous post.)

Movement: Sporadic movement. Although yesterday she was a moving machine. It really isn't consistent, so I cherish every time I do feel her move.

Symptoms: Cramping, pressure, gas. Lots going on in my mid region.

Food cravings: Hungry all the time, but for nothing in particular. But when I eat, I can pack it away. She is located on the right side of my body, free from my stomach, so that's why I think I can still eat a lot.

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Sleeping on my stomach. And C misses this too, because I always end up on my back and apparently that - and the addition of my allergies - makes me snore.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Everything. Finishing work. Labor starting. The birth. Holding her for the first time. Seeing what she looks like.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't buy a nursing bra before the baby (or rather before the milk) comes. I imagine you have no idea how big you'll actually be. Instead buy a nursing sports bra or nursing tank top. I tried on a bunch of nursing bras a few weeks ago and was so overwhelmed during the process. Finally when I walked back to the maternity department, I saw the tank tops and a light went off in my head... Aha! then I wished that I saw that before I tried on ten bras!

Milestones: I am full term. This is a HUGE milestone!

Emotions: Well if you read my post yesterday, I had a emotional breakdown of sorts. I'm much better today. Actually I was much better by yesterday afternoon. It's not like the people I deal with on a daily basis has changed, it's just that 1. I am more emotional; 2. I'm more tired; and 3. I can't drink the stress away when I get home. :)
It felt like everything came to a head yesterday morning - which is the worst time of the day for me regardless of being pregnant. I'm a night person and function the best at about 1 pm on. And dealing with bullshit first thing in the morning just didn't sit well with me yesterday. Anyhow, only two more weeks of work left. I just have to keep saying that to myself ...

Done.

2011-05-18T11:14:00.002-04:00

I am so unbelievably over it. Everything. Work. Friends. Family. Responsibility. Being nice. Being dependable. Being understanding. If I don’t push myself to the breaking point on everything, I get shit. But I should forgive all others if they push a deadline, miss a meeting, flake out, act nasty, etc. I am so sick of it. I’m sick of dealing with all the fucking crap that comes with being a productive adult. I don’t set expectations on anyone but myself, therefore I do not like having expectations set upon me by someone else. But I can’t seem to get away from them. I want to check out. I want to throw my hands up and say “Fuck it. I’m done.” Turn off my phone, unplug the internet and live in solitary.

I have been a thriving pregnant woman – and because, I’m constantly moving and going. People are always complimenting on “how impressed they are that I’m feeling so well.” But you know what that does? That just makes people think that I can – at 37 weeks pregnant – work 14 hours a day. I’m fucking tired. Not physically, but mentally. I’m overwhelmed – with work, with commitments, with the impending life change and I’m slowly getting burnt out. It’s my own fault. I’ve set the precedent that “I’m feeling good and I can do it all.” Why don’t I open my mouth and say “No more!!!” ?? Seriously … no more.

* I just wanted to put a disclaimer that I am by no means complaining about my pregnancy. I'm simply complaining about the assholes I have to deal with while being pregnant. :)

Bummer

2011-05-13T16:51:00.002-04:00

Blogger lost my 36 week update.

I will update it again soon. I want to make sure I don't miss these last weeks fews. My plan is to print up this blog (minus some of the non pregnancy related stuff) and make a book so Peytong can read it when she gets older.

Anyhow - hope you guys have a good weekend!

36 weeks

2011-05-12T10:59:00.000-04:00

How Far Along: 36 weeks

Size of baby: My final MONTH!!! Month 9 (Week 36 - Delivery) Baby is the size of a watermelon. Average size: 18.9-20.9 in, 6.2-9.2 lb (<---- WOW - 9 lbs????)

36w - She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Peyton swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement. Ewww, Peyton! :)

Maternity Clothes: Yes - but still not many maternity shirts. I'm sick of wearing the same 6 pairs of work pants each week. But I do love my jeans ... and I know it's stupid b/c I only have 4 weeks left, but I had to buy a pair of cropped jeans b/c it's getting too hot! :)

Weight Gain: I think I'm up 19lbs total.

Belly: Yes, I have one. haha. I'll post one later.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. Still lathering on the lotions and oils.

Sleep: Sleep isn't too bad. I still wake up a few times during the night, but am able to get back to bed pretty quickly. I am having crazy birth dreams now. Last night I was standing in the hospital room by myself and looked in the mirror and my stomach was completely flat except for a little bulge near my pubic bone. I looked down and the baby's head was sticking out. Yikes! Let's hope that doesn't happen - although in my dream it didn't hurt, so maybe ....

Best Moment of the Week: Just knowing that she will be here in less than a month!

Movement: She moves. Lots of scooting around. Lots of feeling of movement REALLY low. I think she is trying to punch her way out.

Symptoms: Cramps, lots of them. And pressure in my crotch and butt. I want her to stay in at least until the first week in June, but I'm not sure I want to go thru this for another 3-4 weeks.

Food cravings: Nothing sounds appetizing to me these days. I'll eat whatever is convenient, but when C asks me I want, I can never come up with an answer.

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Sleeping on my stomach.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Not working in 3 weeks. I can't believe I only have three weeks left.

Weekly Wisdom: "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told." Use lotion all over. On the belly, arms, legs, face. I have noticed that my skin feel extra dry these days even though I'm drinking a ton of water still.

Milestones: In my last month of pregnancy!!!

Emotions: Emotionally feeling good. Excited. I do snap at people, but most of them understand. Physically, I'm tired. usually at the end of the day. Right now I'm miserable b/c my allergies are AWFUL!!! It always makes me feel like I'm sick. Boo hoo.

35 weeks

2011-05-05T10:41:00.004-04:00

How Far Along: 35 weeks

Size of baby: Month 8 (32-36 wk) Baby is size of honeydew; 17.2 - 18.7 inches long and 4.2 - 5.8 lbs. This baby is getting big!!!

35w - Peyton doesn't have much room to maneuver now that she may be over 18 inches long and tipping the scales at 5 1/4 pounds. Because she's so snug in your womb, she isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks should remain about the same. Her kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete — she'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

Maternity Clothes: Yup.

Weight Gain: I didn't weight myself this morning, but as of yesterday morning, I was up 18lbs.

Belly: Here is a little different perspective. Look at my little toes hanging out down there. haha.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. Still lathering on the lotions and oils.

Sleep: Actually sleep hasn't been too bad lately. I still wake up a few times a night to reposition myself or go to the bathroom once or twice or jump out of bed with a leg cramp. But I haven't had any cases of insomnia, so I'm happy about that.

Best Moment of the Week: Having three women all at once shriek when I told them I only have 5 weeks left at how little my belly was. That was nice, because some days I feel huge.

Movement: Still the same. She is scooting around, but I haven't seen an arm or hand or foot pop out of my belly yet. I have to admit I'm a little jealous of those who get to see that. I think she is facing my back because I feel all the punching and kicking actually "inside" of me. I just feel her move her back and butt and anytime she gets the hiccups.

Symptoms: My digestive system is all out of whack. Some days are good, some days are bad. And crazy dreams. I've been having a ton of them. Some are pregnancy related. Some are work related. But they are insane!

Food cravings: OMG - I ate like a horse yesterday. I haven't as hungry during the rest of the pregnancy as I am now. I thought I would be feeling fuller sooner, but I sure can pack it away these days. :)

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Nothing much. Well - I miss my clothes. I'm kind of getting sick of wearing the same work pants over and over. At least a majority of my shirts still fit.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Now that's it's May I can say I'm looking forward to next month. Next month I will have a little tiny person to care for. Next month I get to see what C and I work so hard for.

Weekly Wisdom: This is for the baby. Play music to the baby. Music you like. That way when they are fussing, you can put on something that you enjoy and they will hopefully recognize it and it will help soothe them. I am on a four album rotation ... Dashboard Confessionals, the GardenState soundtrack, the Last Kiss soundtrack (that Zach Braff sure knows how to pick good tunes) and a Beatles compilation album. I put my headphones on my belly almost every night and as I read my book (desperately trying to get through the rest of "Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest") Peyton is listening to some tunes. It definitely stimulates her because by the middle of the first song she is moving around.

Milestones: 35 weeks. Again, each week is a milestone.

Emotions: Still get teary eyed at a lot of things. Sometimes I find myself getting a little blue, but I try really hard to get myself out of it really quick. The weather has been great, so that helps. I think I'm just getting anxious and excited and ready for the next part ... meeting her!

National Foster Care Awareness Month

2011-05-02T12:58:00.003-04:00

Hey bloggy friends .... I'm going to step on a soapbox for a bit.....

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month.

As I've mentioned before, I sit on the board of a non profit that grants wishes to children in foster care. This is often a population that is overlooked and unseen. Please read below on the facts of foster care.

Facts About Foster Care

Many of the wishes granted by One Simple Wish are made by foster children through their families or through the social service agencies that support them. Foster children are an often invisible population. Foster children need our voice...and here are some facts to explain why:

• Nearly 500,000 children live in the foster care system each year.
• About 58% of children in foster care are children of color.
• Approximately one third of the children remain in foster care for three years.
• Over 20,000 children age out of foster care every year with little to no support.
• Children who age out of of foster care are several times more likely to end up homeless, addicted to drugs or incarerated. It is estimated that more than 250,000 prisoners in the US were once foster children.
• The average child in foster care remains in the system for more than 2 years, living away from their families, friends and familiar environments.

Children who are confirmed by child protective services as victims of maltreatment by age group: less than 18 (Number) – 2009*

http://datacenter.kidscount.org/data/acrossstates/Map.aspx?loct=2&ind=6225&dtm=12944&ch=a&tf=38

Now That You Know The Facts, Here's How You Can Help:

1. Wear This For Awareness.
All month long, show your support for foster children and One Simple Wish.

Set of 2 One Simple Wish Support Bracelets - $5

2. Grant A Wish or Donate.

Browse One Simple Wish wishes and make a small miracle happen for a foster children. Every wish granted, is another sign of hope to a child in foster care.

Donate Now.
91% of all donations go to our wish granting program.

3. Get Involved
Volunteer with One Simple Wish and see first hand how much our work makes a difference. Click here to go to MeetUp.com to see our current volunteer opportunities or contact us to find out more.

4. Spread the word
Simply repost this post to spread the awareness and have your friends and families visit One Simple Wish to see how they can help a child in need.

*Definitions: Victimized children include those who are the subject of at least one substantiated or indicated maltreatment report, and/or who were identified as alternative response victims. Percent estimates of maltreated children in each age group are based on the total number of children less than 18 who are victims of maltreatment. It is important to note that the numbers presented here cannot include victimized children who have never been made known to the system through a maltreatment report. Because of this, and because of state differences in policies and practices—including variations in the legal definitions of maltreatment—readers should exercise caution in interpreting trends and in making state-by-state comparisons. Percentages are not calculated for a small number of cases where age is unknown but are included in the total number of maltreated children. Therefore, percentages may not total to 100 percent. We use the same definition of substantiation as the Child Maltreatment 2009 report. Unlike many of the tabulations in Child Maltreatment our analyses examined the number of children who were maltreated, not the number of maltreatment incidents. Since a child can be the subject of more than one maltreatment incident, the numbers of children in each category presented here will be smaller than Child Maltreatment’s tabulations pertaining to numbers of incidents. Victims who were unborn or are older than 17 years old are not included. State estimates are shown only for states with valid data. Child fatalities are included in the National total, but not within state totals. State-level data on fatalities are not available in NCANDS in order to protect confidentiality. Due to missing state data National totals are not provided before 2004. National estimates include Puerto Rico after 2005. More...

Data Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau. National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) Child File, FFY 2000–2009. NCANDS data used with permission from Cornell University’s National Data Archive on Child Abuse and Neglect website, http://www.ndacan.cornell.edu. The collector of the original data, the funding agency, NDACAN, Cornell University, and the agents or employees of these institutions bear no responsibility for the analyses or interpretations presented here. More...

Footnotes: Updated April 2011.
N.A. – Data not available.

Note: Maps use the natural break classification method, which reflects patterns in the data by dividing the map into naturally occurring groups. Using statistical tools, this method determines cut-off points for each group by identifying large gaps in data values.

Note: The District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands are not included in maps and rankings because they are not states and therefore comparisons on many indicators of child well being are not meaningful.

34 weeks

2011-04-28T10:24:00.005-04:00

How Far Along: 34 weeks

Size of baby: Month 8 (32-36 wk) Baby is size of honeydew; 17.2 - 18.7 inches long and 4.2 - 5.8 lbs. This baby is getting big!!!

34w - Peyton's fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well.

Maternity Clothes: Yup.

Weight Gain: Up 17 lbs.

Belly: Here is a photo that my friends forced me to take at the wedding this past weekend. And as much as I fought them on it, I actually really like it. I think my belly looks huge in it ... I don't think I'm actually that big. But either way, it's a nice picture to have for memories.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: Same thing ... one night I actually don't even wake up to pee and the next I'm up every two hours.

Best Moment of the Week: The wedding was a lot of fun and boy, am I going to miss the compliments of "You look fantastic!" and "Wow, you look great." all the time. It's not everyday normally that people tell you how great you look! :)

Movement: She has been moving a lot more. Not really kicks or jabs, but I'm constantly feeling her swing her butt up into my lung. My midwife confirmed that she is still head down - I think she is staying that way until she comes.

Symptoms: Tired, hip pain at night and of course gas. :) Oh and apparently I snore now. My poor husband.

Food cravings: I just crave food in general. :) I am hungry beyond belief now. I swear I can eat all day long if given the chance!

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Nothing much.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Hitting May. Then I can say "I'm due next month." :) And I'm counting down the days until a firm maternity leave date (now that I know my insurance is cool.) June 3rd ... 34 days!

Weekly Wisdom: I'm back to "drink water!" I have been waking up in the middle of the night with leg cramps again. God they suck. I need to drink more water.

Milestones: 34 weeks. Each week is a milestone.

Emotions: My patience for people is gone. I have no more. I'm feeling the pressure of trying to get work finished in the next 5 weeks and the fact that people ask me the same questions twice is pissing me off to no end. I don't have time to answer the same question AGAIN.

I'm melting!

2011-04-26T15:02:00.003-04:00

I am officially hot! I have been begging and pleading for the warm weather to come, but I didn't know I would feel so hot all the time! Granted I'm at work, in a suit and the AC in this piece sucks balls, so I don't want to shun the warmth away. I just want to be in a tank top and a skirt sitting outside and enjoying the breeze. I very sternly asked a co-worker to shut her window and turn up the air in her office. Luckily, she has two kids, so she feels for me ... a little I think. Her office also controls most of the AC power in this office. The one in my art room is "supposed" to control my office and my two neighbors, but since hers is so powerful and the thermostat is closer to her office then mine, it actually shuts mine off. We went through this last year here, but I was able to just grin and bear it .... not now. I'm too fucking hot. I had our assistant call for someone to look at this again. But I'm sure there really isn't a solution - this is just the way it's going to be. I guess I better get a table fan tonight, place it on my desk and aim it directly into my face ...

I went to speak to the benefits woman yesterday about my leave. I've been having major anxiety about it because there was a timing issue. Not sure if you remember, but I was a freelancer here for many years and decided to come on staff when I found out that they covered some IVF stuff. Well my official hire date was June 7th and for an employee to received paid insurance while off they need to be here for a year. Well my due date is June 9th - so let's just say I am cutting it close - I planned on working as close to labor as possible so it wouldn't be a problem. I don't even care about getting paid for the time off - although that was never an issue. (NJ has paid short term disability and then there is a NJ Family Leave Act that pays you as well after those 6-8 weeks.) I was more concerned about the insurance because if I wasn't here a year I would have to pay into Cobra which is basically an arm and a leg. Well the benefits woman put my mind at ease yesterday. Regardless when I leave - although I'm planning on working until June 3rd - my insurance won't lapse. She will put me in for Personal Leave if I'm out before the start of June and then on June 7th, all my benefits kick in. If I leave on June 3rd - although a few days shy of my anniversary date - it doesn't matter. I already paid into June and am covered until the anniversary date. I know sounds confusing. But she basically just said to me, "Don't worry about it. You are so close it really doesn't matter." Whew! What a relief. So now whereas I was going to see how it goes, I think I'm really going to go out on June 3rd. That's nice to see an end to all the work crap! 37 more days (21 more actual days of work!!!) YAY!

33 weeks

2011-04-21T09:19:00.005-04:00

How Far Along: 33 weeks

Size of baby: Month 8 (32-36 wk) Baby is size of honeydew; 17.2 - 18.7 inches long and 4.2 - 5.8 lbs. This baby is getting big!!!

33w - Peyton's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and her skeleton is hardening. The bones in her skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for her to fit through the birth canal. These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as her brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

Maternity Clothes: Yup.

Weight Gain: Up 16 lbs.

Belly: You get a bare belly one because I'm wearing a flow-y shirt.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: Same thing ... one night I actually don't even wake up to pee and the next I'm up every two hours.

Best Moment of the Week: Wrapping up the nursery and putting away all the little clothes.

Movement: Sometimes barely nothing and then there is a small window where she moves a ton. Like this morning at 6 AM - she must have been doing her exercises because there was no down time for about 30 mins.

Symptoms:Exhaustion, hip pain, lower back pain ... it's starting. I have to have C rub my lower back and hips each night while in bed. Oh and an unbelievable amount of discharge (tmi.) And two days ago, was the first time I really felt uncomfortable pregnant. She was on top of my lungs and I just couldn't breath. I came home from a 12 hour day in almost tears because I was just so tired. I don't ever want to complain about the pregnancy, but man was I done that day.

Food cravings: I just crave food in general. :)

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Today I miss sleep.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Tonight is our second childbirth class - we'll see how this all pans out. We have our friends wedding this wedding, so I'm looking forward to that. And then May is just around the corner!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't lay flat on your back - regardless of how long. Yesterday I went to get my eyebrows waxed and laid on the table. I started to feel a little heavy in my chest, but could still breath and didn't feel lightheaded like the MW said I would if anything was compressing. Well when I got up from the table, I had a shooting pain in my lower back and almost passed out.

Milestones: 33 weeks! Less than 50 days left!

Emotions: Feeling good emotionally. Feeling ready. (that's a lie, trying to feel ready!)

Nursery in Progress

2011-04-19T13:40:00.003-04:00

As requested, here are some pictures of the nursery. It is def still a work in progress, but it's coming along.

C and I put up the tree decal last Friday. The person from E.tsy sent us the birds in the wrong color, so we are waiting for those to finish up. I placed the ones they gave us in for placement. Also that chair in the corner isn't staying in the room. We still need to pick out a glider and then find a home for this chair.

That bench also isn't staying in the room. I think I may just put the basket of books on the floor or something ... who knows.

Here is the changing table area. I need to still get a changing pad and such.

The dresser is in the closet - as you can see, this room isn't exactly big!

Messy closet!

When I told my Dad that we are naming her Peyton, he said "Oh Peyton Place!" So rather than getting letters to spell out her name on the wall, I ordered a movie poster from the movie Peyton Place. C is working on building a cool, bulky frame for it. But I put it on the wall to see how it all works together.

The bedding - I love this bedding. I'm undecided about the bumpers ... may use them, may not.

It still needs some work, but considering she won't be in there much during the first few months anyway, I'm not too concerned on finishing it completely. I do however need to start washing her clothes, blankets, etc. I have a feeling that I'm going to procrastinate on that one!

Mondays Shumdays

2011-04-18T11:21:00.003-04:00

OMG ... Monday mornings are seriously a waste of time.

I sit here at work - next to an extensive To Do list - and read blogs, message boards, etc that I've missed over the weekend instead of chipping away at my obligations. I do answer the occasional email that I don't have to do a ton of work to answer and then flag the others that require me more than a "thanks." or "got it." response.

In a perfect world, Mondays wouldn't technically start until after lunchtime. That is basically when I catch my FIRST wind of the day. I hate feeling so unmotivated here, but I just can't seem to shake it. I count the minutes until 12, so I can go to the cafe, kill a little time there, bring my lunch back, kill a little more time here and then that eats up another hour. Usually by 1 pm, I no longer can push off emails and have to do some work. I don't know why I wait to start because when I'm actually working, I find that the time flies by. I get so immersed in a design that hours can just slip away. And those are good days ... why can't Monday mornings be that way. If I were just to start working, jump into a design or a media plan, I know that the time would just melt away. BUT that is the logical side of my brain talking, and let's be honest here, I haven't consulted my logical brain in months! Everything is based on emotion, hormones and exhaustion. And Monday mornings are fueled strictly by exhaustion. I want to sleep. I want to stay in bed with my puppy dog and my hand on my belly, watching shitty TV. I don't seem to get to do that during the weekend - that's always filled with more To Do lists ... do laundry, run errands, unpack baby stuff, do a little more in the nursery, do some freelance work, etc, etc.

OK. Well my rant has taken me to 2 mins of 12. I will now commence with the next hour of blowing off work to bring me to the better part of the day. Monday afternoons. :)
Hope you all are having a better Monday AM than me!

32 weeks

2011-04-17T20:03:00.004-04:00

How Far Along: 32w3d ... I forgot to post my weekly update.

Size of baby: I'm in a new month. Month 8 (33-36 wk) Baby is size of honeydew; 17.2 - 18.7 inches long and 4.2 - 5.8 lbs. This baby is getting big!!!

32w - Peyton is taking up a lot of space in my uterus. I'm gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to the baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

Maternity Clothes: Still in them.

Weight Gain: I weighed myself on Thursday when I turned 32 weeks and I was up 15 lbs still. Same as the previous two weeks. So I'm sticking with that.

Belly: Sorry - I'm going to pass on 32 wk photo. I'll do one this week.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. I am paranoid that they are coming. I'm carrying pretty high so I have a feeling when I drop, that's when they will make their appearance.

Sleep: It's hit or miss. One night I actually don't even wake up to pee and the next I'm up every two hours.

Best Moment of the Week: As you know I had the baby shower last Sunday. We got so much stuff. We started to put some of it together. Oh and we also got the tree decal and C and I put it up on Friday night - you know a ROCKIN' Friday night!

Movement: She was going NUTS last night. It was a good full two hours of her scooting around.

Symptoms:Nothing really - oh exhaustion. It's there. And hip pain. oh and back pain .... it's all there.

Food cravings: I just crave food in general. :)

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Nothing much.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our second childbirth class. Well really - I know it's odd - but I'm looking forward to putting what we learned to test. I think I'm ready to have this baby - not b/c I'm tired of pregnant, but I just want to meet her!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't eat a lot of cheese - it only adds to the excessive gas problem pregnant ladies have already.

Milestones: 32 weeks! Had a baby shower! Started baby classes! Nursery is almost done! The milestones are coming daily now! :)

Emotions: Pretty good. I'm trying not to get all crazy about the MILLION things we still need to get done before the baby comes. One day at a time.

A shower of photos

2011-04-13T13:12:00.009-04:00

As promised, here are some images from the shower:

Here are the centerpieces - potted "cake pops." They were delish!

Me and My mom

Me and my BFF - we've been best friends for almost 20 years!
Wow - we are getting old! haha.

My mom giving an awkward speech - she isn't really a speaker.

Some of my favorite little outfits:

Baby book - I totally forgot to register for one, but my BFF got me one.

My two sisters, my mom and I.

The kick ass cupcakes my sister made.
See the blocked ones - they spell out "Peyton."
And of course the delish cake ... again, I house two pieces of it!

On top of the two pieces of cake, I had to try one of my sister's cupcakes ...

This gift pretty much wraps up my feeling
about this pregnancy and this little girl ...

And lastly, because it's sooo cute ... Sammy.
C put together the pack and play (he was itching to build something) and
I out Samson in it last night. He seemed to have no problem getting comfy. Too cute!

Baby Shower Day

2011-04-11T16:13:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was my shower. My family had planned it earlier than usual because C is the best man in his BFF’s wedding in two weeks and we didn’t want to interfere with their last minute planning. We originally thought about May, but the first weekend didn’t work out for my SIL and the following weekend was Mother’s Day. Then we start encroaching on just a few weeks before the due date. So April 10^th was the date.

After all the exhaustion of the phone calls and everyone’s bitching, it turned out to be a really nice afternoon. My BFF, my mom and my MIL planned it. It was kind of small – there were about 40 people there. We had it at this restaurant that C and I go to all the time. We go there for anniversaries, celebrations and birthdays – so it meant something to us. I was watching the weather as the days were approaching because I bought these new heeled sandals I wanted to wear to it. I was so happy when I found out that the weather was going to agree! I bought a black dress from the G.ap that I absolutely loved and even though C thought it was too fancy, I said “It’s my shower – I’ll wear whatever I want.” (hello hormones)

It was set up so beautifully. I walked in a little after the start time and was greeted with an applause – which I thought was silly, but I guess normal. I did the hugs and kisses for a while and then sat down. The food was amazing … garlic and veggie cheese bread, a salad, penne and vodka and then the main entrée. Sooo good and everyone kept saying how good the food was. It was BYOB, so C bought a ton of alcohol. I partook in one glass of champagne. It was so good! The centerpieces were “potted flowers” and the flowers were these things called Cake Pops. Balls of cake with icing on a lollipop stick. They were little baby heads with flower petals around the necks.

I half way finished my meal (I was so full from the three previous courses) and started to open the gifts. There were so many of them. We got all of our larger items – which I was surprised about. The swing, the bouncy seat, the stroller/infant seat, extra base, high chair, pack and play, all the bedding, bath tub … and then there were the clothes! Tons of clothes. I actually didn’t register for that many because I know people like to pick them out. And I have to be honest, I was quite impressed with the lack of the traditional princesses, bears, and pink that are usually associated with girls. We got a lot of retro onesies (The Beatles and WonderWoman), a lot of R.alph Lauren stuff (so cute) and a ton of brown/gray items. I know those are traditionally boys’ colors, but I love them! Oh and we got a TON of books. C was so happy about that. My BFF got C a Fathers and Daughters book. It was really sweet. I flew through opening the gifts in 45 mins!!! I know it’s not overly enjoyable for anyone else, so I tried to make it as painless as possible. :)

And then came the dessert. My sister is a cake decorator and she made homemade, all natural cupcakes. They were AMAZING to say the least. She made 6 that had ABC blocks on top that spelt out Peyton and then she did three more designs – a stork holding a bundle, a little baby head coming out of greens (kind of like cabbage Patch) and booties. Everyone loved them. My mom also got a cake – my favorite and that was a hit too. The server who was “assigned” to me, brought me a piece of cake but someone had already given me one. I told her “Leave it. I’ll eat a second piece.” So good.

People started to file out after that and all that was left after a little bit was me and my high school girlfriends. God I love them. We had such a good time talking about babies and such – but in the same sarcastic, smart ass way we’ve always been.

C came with his dad and his BFF to pick up all the loot. We finally got back to the house and I was able to relax. All the stuff is sitting in the living room and I said to C “It was a great day. But do you realize that none of this” and I waved my hand to all the boxes and bags, “is for us?!?!” We both laughed and realized that our life is certainly going to change so very shortly!

I will post some pictures of the best things I got, the shower itself and of course the cupcakes when I get home later. Or maybe tomorrow. (we have a baby basics class tonight) It really was a wonderful day and I am so thankful and lucky to have great friends and family to share these times with.

31 weeks

2011-04-07T12:24:00.002-04:00

How Far Along: 31w

Size of baby: Month 7 (29w - 32w)– Baby is the size of Squash - about 15.2 - 16.7 inches long and 2.5 - 3.8 lbs.

31w - This week, Peyton approximately measures over 16 inches long and weighs about 3.3 pounds and is heading into a growth spurt. She can turn her head from side to side, and her arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath her skin.

Maternity Clothes: I wish I could wear my maternity jeans everyday instead of getting dressed for work.

Weight Gain: 15 lbs I guess. I didn't weigh myself this morning. I go to the MW tomorrow, so I guess I'll find out then.

Belly: No picture right now. I don't want to get up and take it. :)

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. But I am seeing a few capillaries on the stomach - small little veins.

Sleep: I am finding out there isn't anything really great on TV at 3-4am. Mostly infomercials. I've watched the P90x and the Insanity ones a bunch and it makes me want to do them after the baby is born. :)

Best Moment of the Week: Having the 3D ultrasound and seeing her move around, open her mouth, wave her hands, and smile (probably a faux smile, but I'll take it!) Oh and our crib came in on Friday. C put it together on Saturday.

Movement: She is finding her way to the side of my belly. It's weird. I get kicks literally on the side of my body. I don't know where she is trying to go.

Symptoms: Braxton Hicks contractions ... they seem to come on pretty regularly now. How another bout with swelling yesterday - but just in my left ankle. Weird.

Food cravings: I just crave food in general. :)

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Not much. C got home last Thursday night and then left again on Monday. He got home late last night.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My baby shower. It's this Sunday. So excited to have it. And relieved that it will be over ... it caused some family issues as EVERYTHING does! Ugh.

Weekly Wisdom: I took off from work on Monday and took two naps. I suggest doing that once in a while.

Milestones: I made it to April ... is that a milestone?

Emotions: Pretty good. I'm trying not to get all crazy about the MILLION things we still need to get done before the baby comes. One day at a time.

Peyton's First Photo Shoot

2011-04-01T10:04:00.008-04:00

C and I went to the 3D ultrasound this morning. My mom and BFF came along too. It was a lot fun. I'll be honest - they aren't the best 3D photos I've seen, but it was really cool to see her move around. She - ONCE AGAIN - had her hands in front of her face so that's the majority of the images we have of her. She was moving her mouth a lot - my BFF said "Already a talker - just like Daddy!" (C is a gabber.) And then she kept trying to jam her hands into her mouth. It really was so cute.

Here are a few of the winners from this morning:

Here she is sucking her thumb.

Here she is trying to eat her fingers.

And finally, here she is smiling. What a face!

So excited to meet her! I can't wait!

30 weeks

2011-03-31T11:02:00.002-04:00

How Far Along: 30w - holy cow!

Size of baby: Month 7 (29w - 32w)– Baby is the size of Squash - about 15.2 - 16.7 inches long and 2.5 - 3.8 lbs.

30w - A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in my uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face.

Maternity Clothes: I love how comfy they are, but I hate how little choices I have in the mornings now. However I did get a really nice maternity dress from G.ap for my shower. There is still a little room in the belly, but I'm sure in the next 10 days, I'll fill it out.

Weight Gain: 15 lbs.

Belly: I swear I'm getting bigger everyday. I don't mind it though ...

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet. Just started to get a little itchy, nothing major though.

Sleep: Peyton likes to kick like crazy around 3:30am. So for the last couple of nights, I've been up for a good hour to two. I'm tired!

Best Moment of the Week: Tomorrow will be the best moment!!! 3D ultrasound!!!

Movement: She is moving. I say to C all the time "I wonder what she is doing in there." Some days I swear she is rearranging my insides and others I have to double check that she is still in there.

Symptoms: TMI - Gas! Lots of it.

Food cravings: None really. Maybe pizza - I seem to eat that a lot. But I've always liked pizza, so I don't think it can go under "cravings"

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: My husband. He is once again away on business. He only has one more month of travel and then I've grounded him thru May and June.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our 3D ultrasound tomorrow. Saturday - so I can nap in the middle of the day. My baby shower next Sunday. The crib coming in - who knows when that happens. Lots of things to look for forward to.

Weekly Wisdom: Baths are wonderful! I suggest taking one. I take one probably a few times a month and I love it. I just make sure it's not too warm, but it's nice. And funny when the baby kicks, the water ripples.

Milestones: I am 3/4 the way through! WOW!!!

Emotions: I'm doing OK. No major freak outs. I still get weepy at TV shows. I'm sure that will be the same postpartum, but I'm wondering when that eventually goes away. I'm a huge fan of the tears! :)

29w

2011-03-24T14:32:00.004-04:00

How Far Along: 29w

Size of baby: I moved onto another month! Month 7 (29w - 32w)– Baby is the size of Squash - about 15.2 - 16.7 inches long and 2.5 - 3.8 lbs. Baby is def head down. The kicks are starting to come awfully close to my ribs. :)

29w - Peyton's muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and her head is growing bigger to make room for her developing brain (taking after her daddy). To meet her increasing nutritional demands, I should have plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because her bones are soaking up lots of calcium, I should be drinking milk - although I don't, so I am taking calcium supplements. This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in her hardening skeleton.

Maternity Clothes: Yup. I've purchased a few more pants, as 5 pair weren't cutting my full time job. But at least they have really cute stuff now.

Weight Gain: Up 2 lbs - 14 in total. I'm happy with that.

Belly: I'm getting bigger!

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: I have to say I'm sleeping better, but am more exhausted during the day.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting my glucose results back. I kind of knew since they hadn't called me that I was in the clear, but when she told me today that my levels were an 85, I was thrilled!!! Bring on the cake!

Movement: Yup. She def moves around a lot more. Plus I see my belly move from the outside. Oh and C got to feel her have the hiccups. So cute.

Symptoms: Stuffy nose and sneezing. Oh and - tmi - my vag is seriously swollen and ... yes Jenny McCarthy was right about it turning blue! I told C - Sorry, shop is closed.

Food cravings: No - some days I'm super hungry, others not so much.

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: My normal vagina.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Our 3D ultrasound is next Friday. I'm soooo excited to see Peyton. It's been over 10 weeks since I've seen her at all and I'm not going to get another u/s this pregnancy, so this is our last shot!

Weekly Wisdom: Back to my age old advice, drink lots of water! Ahem!

Milestones: I’m in the third trimester! I passed my glucose test! I'm only up 14 lbs! I have less than 11 weeks to go! There are too many to count!

Emotions: I have weather dependent depression. Meaning, I was super happy last week when it was 60-70 degrees. The fact that I drove thru a sleet storm last night and woke up to snow this morning has put me in a tailspin towards moodiness. Enough is enough. I'm ready for light spring jackets and bright colored clothes! Even though I would have been thrilled to have a baby anytime of the year, I have to think someone was looking out for me and timed this pregnancy just right! Me + a winter infant + being stuck in the house = disaster! Thank you God for bringing me this baby in the warmth!

Diaper Bag ... or just bag

2011-03-21T16:35:00.005-04:00

First off, let me start by saying that I'm a big handbag person. Yes, I love both shoes AND handbags. C is probably thrilled that his wife is addicted to not just one, but both vices. I have a lot of the main stream bags, but I also love finding these obscure designers. So when I had started my search for the perfect diaper bag, I didn't know where to look.

I started where all my friends had ... at P.etunia P.icklebottom. My friends all have these bags and I love them. They are so cute. They come in fun colors/patterns and are super organized. My only apprehension was that I originally wanted a diaper bag that looked like a huge handbag. I briefly looked, but other than spending a fortune on a G.ucci or B.urberry bag, I didn't find much out there. There were a few K.ate Spade or M.arc Jacobs bags, but they were canvas and I wasn't loving the design. As most shopping things have happened in this pregnancy, I was getting frustrated with the search. So I was about to hit "PURCHASE" on my online order for this navy flowered PP bag, but had a second thought. "K, pull back. Relax a little. Search a little more. I have some time."

I spent last Sunday scouring online for "designer diaper bags", "diaper bags that look like hangbags", "fashionable diaper bags" - and then I found it! It was perfect. Black, "faux" leather (although I prefer it to be leather, I understand having a bag that carries around bottles full of liquid and diapers and food probably shouldn't be leather) big, looks like a LARGE handbag. In fact, it includes a little wristlet so you don't have to carry a separate bag for cash/cards, etc. PLUS it was on sale and by my "handbag" standards, pretty cheap. Here is my find:

It's a T.imi & L.eslie bag - Charlie II. In fact there are a ton of REALLY great bags on their site - they all look like handbags, but are in fact diaper bags. This one came in this beautiful mustard color that I was sooo close to getting, but I felt the black is better in the long run. I ordered it online, so I'm waiting for it to come in. I have the slightest fear that it's going to be TOO big, but I already checked out the return policy and I'm in the clear. I'm excited to see it. It comes with all this stuff for inside:
It has stroller straps, a diaper changing pad, a long cross over body strap among other things. And the inside looks super organized:

So we'll see when it comes in the mail ... hopefully this week! If it doesn't work out, then I'm back to square one. :(

28 weeks - third trimester!

2011-03-17T09:53:00.005-04:00

How Far Along: 28w … THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!

Size of baby: Month 6 (25w - 28w)– Baby is the size of an eggplant, 13.6 - 14.8 inches long and weighs about 1.5 - 2.2lb. (I’ll stick with this, but in WTEWYE I’m in my 7th month)

28 w - Peyton is settling into the proper position for birth, with her head facing downward (toward my body's nearest exit!). My little work in progress is now about 2.5 pounds and almost 16 inches long. She's busy adding new skills such as blinking to an already impressive repertoire of tricks like coughing, sucking, hiccuping, and taking practice breaths. Her sleep now includes the REM (rapid eye movement) phase — and that means she could be dreaming already.

Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants. I’ve been holding out on purchasing maternity tops. I’m hoping that I can hold up until the warmer weather.

Weight Gain: Down 2 lbs … 12 lbs total. When I went to my appt last week, I had only gained 1 lb in the 4 weeks.

Belly: I feel like it looks a little smaller today.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: Sleeping is a little better – I think. I am now starting to get up to pee every night and I know it will only get worse.

Best Moment of the Week: Getting hit on! I went to that bachelorette party this weekend. We drove down to Baltimore and had strip tease class – floor, chair and stripper pole lessons. It was so funny to see everyone do it and I certainly looked ridiculous trying to be all sexy with my belly. Haha. Then we went to this dueling piano bar – it was a lot of fun. We had a boa with all these tasks on it for the bride to be to do. So a lot of guys were coming over to our tables and were helping out with the tasks. I was sitting at the table and this guy comes up to me – and let me say if I wasn’t married and pregnant I would have been thrilled … he was very nice looking - and starts flirting and saying “there’s an attraction between us” (haha – guys are too funny, but that’s another story) and after about talking to him for about 5-10 mins, he looks down at my left hand and sees my wedding rings. He points to them and goes something like, “oh no.” Then I said “So is it the fact that I’m married that bothers you” and then I stand up and say “or is it b/c I’m 6 months pregnant” and I point to my belly. The look on this guy’s face was PRICELESS! Me and my girlfriends got a really good laugh out of that one. LOL. But let me tell you, it soooo made my night! Hell, it made my pregnancy! :)

Oh and I had my glucose test on Friday – it really wasn’t as bad as I thought. I think I passed. They said that if the results are fine, that they would just tell me at my next appt and if they were bad, they would call me to make an appt to do the 3hour one. I haven’t heard from them, so I’m assuming it’s all good.

Movement: Some days she is moving all around, other days, quiet as a mouse. ?

Symptoms: No more swelling – I’m choking that up to working my tail off last week. My lower back is starting to hurt by the end of the night, but that’s about it.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings. But I am noticing that I'm getting hungrier faster. I still don't eat a lot at each meal, but I am all about the 5-6 meals/snacks a day.

Gender: A Little Lady.

What I Miss: Nothing really.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My baby shower. OK – it’s like over 3 weeks away, but the invitations went out this week so I'm excited for it. Here they are:

I designed them … I know, but I’m a designer and couldn’t bear the thought that someone else would be doing it.

Oh and a week before my shower is our 3D ultrasound. So I’m excited about that too!

Weekly Wisdom: Back to my age old advice, drink lots of water!

Milestones: I’m in the third trimester!

Emotions: I’m feeling pretty good. I think the daylights savings helps. I love that I can still leave work at 6-6:30 and it’s still light out. Tomorrow it’s suppose to be 75 degrees! I can’t wait!!!!

27 weeks

2011-03-10T09:18:00.005-05:00

How Far Along: 27w

Size of baby: Month 6 (25w - 28w)– Baby is the size of an eggplant, 13.6 - 14.8 inches long and weighs about 1.5 - 2.2lb.

27 w - She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, her brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. I should chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements I may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so I should just relax and enjoy the tickle.

Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants. Although I am finding that some of my shirts aren't long enough anymore. Not so much for the belly, but for the low rise maternity jeans I have. :)

Weight Gain: Ugh. Up 13-14 lbs.

Belly:

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: I actually slept last night. I was so tired. But woke up early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep.

Best Moment of the Week: Feeling her have the hiccups. It was really cool.

Movement: She has been lazy the last few days. I think because I have been so busy and on the go, that I'm just not realizing that she is moving around.

Symptoms: I believe I have started a little swelling around the ankles. I'm drinking water like crazy - not that I wasn't before - and originally was going to reduce salt, but after reading WTEWYE last night and I saw that actually adding in salt helps reduce swelling. Interesting.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: Still a vagina ... I hope.

What I Miss: Nothing really.

What I'm Looking Forward To: This weekend I have a bachlorette party in Baltimore. I'm so looking forward to being the only sober one there. (can you pick up on the sarcasm?) No, seriously, it should be a good time.

Weekly Wisdom: Keep a foot stool underneath your desk so you can elevate your feet while working.

Milestones: In a few days, I'll officially be in the third trimester - according to p.regnology dot com.

Emotions: Feeling blah. Nervous about the glucose test tomorrow. Work is busy. Wish I felt her move more. I feel tired all the time. I just want to close my eyes for days. Can you tell I'm a big ball of complaints? I think I really need the warm to roll in and the sun to come out!

"Violet, you look like a blueberry!"

2011-03-09T09:54:00.004-05:00

Hello swelling, I knew you would come. It's not really bad at all, but I am starting to see the early signs of swelling.

I’ve been working 10+ hr days the last week or so and then going to meetings after work for the nonprofit I work with. I thought on Monday when I took my shoes off that I could see a very small amount of swelling around my ankles, but I couldn’t be sure. And then last night after being in heels for 14 hours, I got home, took my shoes off and there was definite swelling. I immediately started housing water and even though it was 10:30 at night and wanted to go to sleep ASAP, I laid in bed with my legs elevated above my waist. I googled on ways to reduce ankle swelling – drink water, elevate feet, don’t cross legs (guilty), sleep on left side, reduce salt (yikes that’s all I want), and massages (C better be all over this).

I understand that this comes with the territory and that there are going some unfavorable effects from being pregnant, but I think because I’ve had such an easy pregnancy so far, I’ve tricked myself into thinking I’m going to get away scot free. For instance, my weight gain has been really good for the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy so I was thinking, hey this is great! I was hanging around the 8lb mark. Everyone kept saying how amazing that was … well now, a mear 7 weeks later, I’m up 5-6 lbs. I’ve almost doubled my entire weight gain for half a pregnancy in 7 weeks. I know that weight gain is a given with pregnancy, but I’m concerned b/c I was overweight to begin with and nervous that I will eventually just turn into a rolling ball with hands and feet – think Violet from Willy Wonka. Haha.

Now don't get me wrong. I love being pregnant. It's the thing that I have probably worked my hardest at and will definitely be the most rewarding. So if that means I gain 100lbs and look like I have an allergic reaction for the next three months, then so be it. But I need to start documenting all support for the guilt trip I'm going to give Peyton when she's a teenager and raising hell. LOL.

I Dreamed a Dream ...

2011-03-06T21:03:00.004-05:00

Today was the perfect lazy Sunday, rain and all - although I was pretty busy ... did a photo shoot with my BFF's two kids, had a nonprofit committee meeting and then did a bunch of laundry. But I ended - or am ending - my evening with a little treat.

I was flipping through the channels and came upon a little guilty pleasure. A public access channel is playing a concert of the 25th anniversary of Les Miserables. This play, these songs hold such a special place in my heart.

This was the very first Broadway show my mother brought me to. I was 16. We took the bus in - there were these specials my mother would find. We went with my aunt and my cousin, whom is born on the same day as me, same year. If I'm not mistaken, it may have been for our 16th birthdays. We ate lunch at what I assumed was a fancy restaurant at 16. (I'm sure it was just a regular place.) I was so excited to see a "Broadway Play!" The first act was amazing. The set, the people, the costumes, the VOICES. I was in awe. However, close to the end of the first act, I started to not feel very well. This was the start of a LONG battle with stomach problems - uclers, IBS, gastritis would become my future even to this day. I held out until the first act finished and hightailed it to the rest room. Unfortunately, I never left there. I spent the entire second half of the play in the bathroom, crying in pain and out of sadness --- see they play the music as it happens, throughout the bathrooms and lobbies, so I hear the beautiful voices and applause, but wasn't able to see it. I finally made it out - for the last 10 minutes and I stood in the back of the theater.

My mother felt terrible for me so she bought me the CD of the music. I would play it over and over - singing Eponine's, sometimes Fantine's parts. As we grew up we saw a few more shows as a family - Phantom of Opera, The Chorus Line, Miss Saigon to name a few. But we never went to see Les Miserables again.

Many years later, a dear friend of mine surprised me with tickets to Les Miserables. I couldn't believe it. It felt so unreal that I was going to be able to see it 7 years after my first attempt. It was everything I thought it would be and soooo much more. And not long after we went, it closed after 16 yrs in New York. (however, it did open for a very limited time in 2006 and I think it still runs in London) I was so thankful for my friend's thoughtfulness - she knew how much I loved this play - despite not seeing the whole thing. And the fact that I was able to see it before it closed on Broadway was such a gift - a gift I will hold onto forever.

As I've gotten older, C and I have seen more shows and I have enjoyed them tremendously, but nothing will ever replace Les Miserables as my favorite play ever. (Rent comes in second.)

This was a great way to end the evening for me. Waiting for C to come home from a business trip, singing along with the actors. "Do you hear the people sing ... "

I'm sure Peyton is not overly thrilled that I've been singing for the past hour or so ... or she is going to come out singing "I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high. And life worth living ..." :)

26 weeks

2011-03-03T09:41:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 26w

Size of baby: Month 6 (25w - 28w)– Baby is the size of an eggplant, 13.6 - 14.8 inches long and weighs about 1.5 - 2.2lb.

26 w - Baby is inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of her lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when she's born and takes that first gulp of air. And she's continuing to put on baby fat. She now weighs 1.75 lbs and measures 14 inches from head to heel.

Maternity Clothes: Maternity pants. Although I am finding that some of my shirts aren't long enough anymore. Not so much for the belly, but for the low rise maternity jeans I have. :)

Weight Gain: I got on this morning and I'm up 12 lbs. I know that's still good in comparison, but I have to admit it's still shocking when I get on the scale and it keeps going up.I hope I hold at 12 lbs until my next appt.

Belly: I think I popped a little bit.

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: I couldn't get to sleep last night. I just laid there. C is away on business again. Whereas once my bed was super comfortable when he wasn't there, now I'm just feeling alone in bed.

Best Moment of the Week: I really don't have a best moment this week - actually this week has kind of sucked (not in baby sense - but work and responsibility sense)

Movement: She is moving. I wish she was a little stronger so C could feel her whenever she kicks. It's only a few times now that he has felt her.

Symptoms: Same ole', same 'ole - allergy symptoms, leg cramps, etc.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: Still a vagina ... I hope.

What I Miss: Nothing really.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Getting the NEW crib in and starting to put together the nursery.

Weekly Wisdom: C and I ordered a crib and changing table online thinking it would match furniture we already had. I got the call last Friday that they were in. Well this is the reason you shouldn't purchase furniture online ... it was completely a different color than the picture showed. It was more a cherry wood than an espresso wood. C put both pieces together and I sat in the room with the biggest sourpuss on my face. He wasn't happy with them either. I bought these cute yellow bins to put under the changing table however when I put them under this one, they looked terrible! So after all that, we went back to BRU with a shelf from a current piece of furniture we had in that room and went through trying to match the color. We finally found a crib ... but they didn't have a changing table in the set, so C grabbed a changing table from another set and brought it over to the crib. The color matched. So we left Sat nite with a changing table and another crib ordered. Then we took apart the original crib and table and returned it. Ugh. Moral of the story, Don't order furniture online.

Milestones: In 11 days, I will be entering my third trimester! Where has the time gone?

Emotions: I kind of went through a little funk this past week or so. It may have been from my grandmother, may have been from C being gone, or I'm just chalking it up to pregnancy hormones. Either way, I'm in desperate need of laughter and smiles.

25 weeks

2011-02-25T10:07:00.002-05:00

How Far Along: 25w1d

Size of baby: Onto another month - Month 6 (25w - 28w)– Baby is the size of an eggplant, 13.6 - 14.8 inches long and weighs about 1.5 - 2.2lb.

I should let C put an ear to my belly -- he might be able to pick up Peyton's heartbeat (no stethoscope required). Inside the womb, the formation of tiny capillaries is giving her a healthy pink glow. She's also soaking up my antibodies, getting the immune system ready for life outside the womb. Eyes are forming, and she will soon perfect the blink -- perfect for batting those freshly grown lashes.

Maternity Clothes: Yup – still just maternity pants though

Weight Gain: I believe I am up 10-11 lbs. It's slowly coming on now.

Belly: When I throw a bra on, I'll take a pic. :)

Stretch Marks: Nope, not yet.

Sleep: I actually slept well last night. But I think I was so exhausted from this past week that nothing was going to keep me up.

Best Moment of the Week: Having someone at the funeral tell someone else that I was only 4 months. I had to correct her and say I'm 6 months and she looked at me surprisingly and said "You look GREAT!" :)

Movement: She is moving around. But her kicks aren't hurting, but I am noticing that they are getting stronger. I can't wait until C can feel her all the time.

Symptoms: Same ole', same 'ole - allergy symptoms, leg cramps, etc.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: Still a vagina ... I hope.

What I Miss: Sleep. And after this week ... WINE!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Seeing my husband. He had a business trip to Cali scheduled for over a month and after my grandma passed, we talked and I told him he should still go. Now I'm wishing that I told him to stay home. I can't wait to see him tomorrow.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't eat frozen yogurt before bed if you're lactose intolerant. Not a good evening.

Milestones: In the 6th month. I am two weeks away from the third trimester! I can't believe it.

Emotions: I'm pleading the 5th on this for this week - I had CRAZY emotions, but it was def warranted.

Another angel

2011-02-20T14:03:00.003-05:00

First off - it's not the baby - every thing's fine. I don't want to freak anyone out with my post title.

My grandmother passed away this morning.

She quickly declined since Wednesday. She unfortunately caught a chest cold and she didn't have the strength to cough, so fluids have been building up in her lungs. And it went quickly. I was lucky enough to live fairly close to her and see her often. C and I went there Wednesday evening when we received the news that things didn't look good - and we were joined by several cousins and my sister. The doctor said that she wouldn't survive the ride to the hospital and she had a DNR anyhow. We all knew that she wanted to go. Over the last year, she had said it to my dad several times. She had been in pain from hip problems, back issues and such. And I know she missed my grandfather - he passed about 8 years ago. They were married for 60 something years - the best couple, the best grandparents.

I went there Friday morning and no one else was there - just me. So I got to spend some time with her alone. Granted she wasn't speaking, not really responsive, but I got to hold her hand and tell her how much she meant to me and how I loved her. We all knew it was coming and I know she is in a better place, with the love of her life and pain free and that's what makes this OK for me and my family.

She had always cared so deeply for her children and grandchildren that I absolutely know that she is going to be the sweetest angel looking over us forever.

24 weeks

2011-02-17T19:38:00.005-05:00

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Size of baby: Month 5 (21w - 24w)– Baby is the size of a papaya, 10.5 - 12 inches long and weighs about 1 - 1.5 lb.

Peyton’s growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. Since he's almost a foot long, she cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but her body is filling out proportionally and she'll soon start to plump up. Her brain is also growing quickly now, and her taste buds are continuing to develop. Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help her air sacs inflate once she hits the outside world. Her skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

Maternity Clothes: Yup – maternity pants only though. I love them. I told a friend who is still struggling with her normal pants and a belly band, just take the plunge.

Weight Gain: I didn’t hop on the scale this morning – I was too tired. But I think I’m up 8-9 lbs.

Belly:

Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: Sleep is sleep. I long for it, but no longer look forward to it because I know I will be tossing and turning all night.

Best Moment of the Week: C saw my belly move with a kick from Peyton.

Movement: She is moving, but not as much on a schedule anymore. But C FINALLY felt her kick for real. He was so cute and so excited.

Symptoms: Swollen Hooha is rearing her ugly head again and I swear I have major allergy like symptoms. I sneeze ALL. THE. TIME. Doesn’t help that I pee a little each time I sneeze. I’ve been good though – I know to cross my legs really tight or if I’m alone hold my crotch. LOL. I’ve been getting leg cramps in the middle of the night. Not fun.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings. Gender: My little Miss Peyton.

What I Miss: Sleep.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Registering. My baby shower date is set and C is out of town for a few weeks in March, so we are going tomorrow. Also it’s suppose to be 70 degrees tomorrow … I need some warm weather! YAY!

Weekly Wisdom: I saying this again –drink water because I keep waking up with leg cramps. OUCH!

Milestones: We have made the viability mark!!! Meaning if I were to go into labor they would take measures to stop it and monitor the baby. And god forbid if she came now, she would have a 60% chance of surviving.

Emotions: Still all over the place. But I recover fairly fast. So that’s good.

Progression

2011-02-14T10:25:00.005-05:00

Here is a mid way progression ... it's interesting how your belly changes. I think I looked big around 14/17 weeks then I do now. But I definitely see a change. I still sometimes think that I look the same as I did before pregnancy --- this definitely makes me see that is not true. Haha.

(This was for you Michelle ... xoxo)

23 weeks

2011-02-10T17:17:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Size of baby: Month 5 – Baby is the size of a papaya, 10.5 - 12 inches long and weighs about 1 - 1.5 lb.

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, Peyton can feel me dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound, I may be able to see her squirm underneath my clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that her increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as Sammy barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb. I may have to stop the trucker mouth I have now ... or at least she will know when I'm driving. :)

Maternity Clothes: Loving my new maternity jeans. I spent a little money on them and have gotten tons of compliments of them – people don’t know they are maternity jeans. C has said to me a few times – shocking – how much he loves the jeans. Makes me feel good to wear clothes that fit and highlight the bump.

Weight Gain: I apparently am up to 10 lbs. Eek. I want to call an audible on this stat … because when I weighed myself this morning, I was up a total of 8 lbs. So, we’ll see how this whole thing shakes out. :)

Belly: Too come. Sorry I’m never good on this.

Stretch Marks: None so far. Though I’m noticing more blue veins on my belly now. And a ton of peach fuzz …

Sleep: Sleep is sleep. I long for it, but no longer look forward to it because I know I will be tossing and turning all night.

Best Moment of the Week: Just being pregnant is the best moment of the week.

Movement: She is a mover and a shaker. I feel her move quite often. I ate Indian food last night and mid way through she must have caught a taste of it, because she was bouncing off my walls. :)

Symptoms: I'm getting a little tired again, but that might be from the lack of sleep I'm getting.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: My little Miss Peyton.

What I Miss: Feeling good. I caught C’s cold on Monday and have been struggling through work with it. Can’t wait for tomorrow so I can lounge around for a bit.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Registering. My baby shower date is set and C is out of town for a few weeks in March, so we need to do it next weekend. I’m excited to go “shopping”

Weekly Wisdom: Drink tons of water. I know – I already said this, but it is very wise advice.

Milestones: In 6 days, I will be at viability mark. Now I want her to stay in there a bit more, but it’s nice to know if she decided to make an early appearance, she would have a good chance.

Emotions: Cry easily. I had my 23/24 wk appt today and I was not happy. My appt was at 8:45 and I wasn’t seen until 10:20 and it was for about 2 mins because I had a 10:30 meeting I needed to get to. I was so pissed that I didn’t get a chance to ask her anything I wanted to. So I drove to my office and told the people I had the meeting with I’d be right in and went to my office and cried. I’m such a wimp.

The Name Game

2011-02-09T13:52:00.003-05:00

As I mentioned in my last post, we have finally locked up the name for the little one. I wish there was a good story behind it, but there is not. For the longest time, I loved the name Logan for a girl. This goes back to pregnancy #2. I hadn’t really thought of names for the first pregnancy, but once I had made it my life’s mission to get pregnant again over two years ago, I lived, breathed, and talked babies. So I had the names all settled … Jackson Charles for a boy, Logan Elizabeth for a girl. I never brought it up again. I kept them in my vault prepared when it was in fact my time, to bring them out, brush the dust off them and put them to use.

While we were preparing for IVF this summer, I brought up the name game again. I had different feelings about Jackson – as in the two year time frame, a family member had named their son Jack and I felt I lost the privilege of using it. So I went back to the drawing board. Our next name for a boy was Carter. I absolutely LOVE this name and it is still our number name for a boy. (Hands off ladies … just kidding) However our name for the girl hadn’t changed. It was still Logan Elizabeth. When by the grace of “someone”, I ended up pregnant after IVF, C and I spoke a little bit more about the names. We playful added a few more names to the mix for a girl and we’re settled on Carter for a boy. Since we swore up and down that it was a boy, I hadn’t even given the girl name any more thought. However when we heard those little words “It’s a girl.” That all changed.

One of the names we added to the mix for the girls really struck me as such a beautiful name. And more and more, it started to push Logan out of the frontrunner’s position. I started to feel like this was my little one’s name. So finally I said to C that we really need to lock this up. I felt like I wanted to give her more a personality, make her more “real” to me and having a given name would help that. We sat one night at P.anera Bread and went through a list of girl names on my i.Phone. We brought up a few other names we liked – Logan, Parker, Morgan, Kennedy, Reagan (do you see the how this almost turned into a list of airports there – that was noticed by my brother who saw the list. I just love unisex names.) As much I liked some of these other names, they weren’t hers. I kept going back to the one I’d fallen in love with. And finally as we ate our cookies, in a P.anera Bread, we decided on the name of our daughter.

That was probably 2 weeks ago. I held onto the name and didn’t share it – well I did with BFF and a few other family members, in case we wanted to go back and discuss it – and we have. C still really likes Kennedy. But ultimately in the end, we stuck with the name we agreed on. And that name is .... drum roll please .....

Peyton Elizabeth

I'm really excited about it and can't wait to meet her. C is really cute and always kisses my belly in the morning and says "Good Morning Peyton." My BFF has already taught her kids "Peyton." When I told my dad, he said "Peyton's Place?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but apparently there was a prime time soap opera - before Dallas and Dynasty - called Peyton's Place. I like that I haven't really heard the name used by friends, but that it is recognizable as a name and not something obscure like Apple or Pilot. Anyhow, it's feels great that she has name and that we are less than 4 months away from meeting her! YAY!

22 weeks

2011-02-03T12:38:00.006-05:00

How Far Along: 22 weeks.

Size of baby: Month 5 – Baby is the size of a papaya, 10.5 - 12 inches long and weighs about 1 - 1.5 lb. Here's another comparison.

The facial features are becoming more defined, with brows and eyelids in position, lips distinct, and eyes have formed completely, yet the iris still lacks pigment. The fingernails have grown to the ends of the fingertips and the hair is without pigment and is a shade of striking white. The liver is beginning to break down bilirubin with help from me, and the pancreas is maturing. The brain is entering a stage of rapid growth. Hearing is sharper, and the baby can pick out voices, the sounds of your rumbling stomach and blood circulating.

Maternity Clothes: OK – I’m biting the bullet and moving to straight maternity pants. I ordered two pair of good jeans and two more work pants. I think I should be good now … My shirts are still fitting and I think they will for some time.

Weight Gain: Up to 7-8 lbs.

Belly: Michelle – this is for you! I feel like I look huge!

Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: I don’t want to talk about sleep. Last night was terrible. Between tossing and turning to begin with, C was snoring because he has a cold and then the fact that my lady parts are still itchy from being swollen made for a nice sleep of … ohh … 1.5 hours.

Best Moment of the Week: Locking up the name! I will put it in a separate post.

Movement: I am starting to feel her on a schedule now. I feel her move around 7:30-8am, then again around lunch time, sometimes in the afternoon and then not again until 8-9 pm. I don’t really feel her during the night – but it may be because it’s not strong enough to wake me up …

Symptoms: I'm getting a little tired again, but that might be from the lack of sleep I'm getting.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: Still a girl … I hope. ;)

What I Miss: Nothing really. Well, actually sleep. I miss sleep.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Registering. We’ve talked about it a few times, but haven’t actually gone out there to do it.

Weekly Wisdom: This is going to be weather related ... um, don't go outside in the ice if you're pregnant. Plain and simple.

Milestones: Feeling her move all the time now … J

Emotions: I still get a little snippy fast, but I’m going to blame the exhaustion. Haha.

21 weeks

2011-01-28T18:32:00.006-05:00

How Far Along: 21weeks, 1 day -- I'm a day late on my up date.

Size of baby: They now lump the baby into months. Month 5 - Baby

is the size of a papaya, 10.5-12 inches long and weighs 13-21 oz. Again, I think the

baby is weighing more than this.

Apparently I need to watch what I say -- baby is now able to hear outside noise from down in the womb. Studies show that baby finds gentle music and my own voice most soothing. Nipples are starting to sprout, and that little face is fully formed. And, baby's starting to settle into sleep cycles, snoozing about 12 to 14 hours a day. It shouldn't be hard to figure out when --I should just pay attention to those kicks as they start and stop.

Maternity Clothes: I'm definitely not zipping up my pants/jeans anymore. The belly band is becoming a life saver. Now that I'm a little bigger, it stays in place. And I heart dresses. I want to wear them all the time! I need to get a good pair of maternity jeans. I may have to spend some $$ on them.

Weight Gain: 6lbs still.

Belly: Coming soon.

Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: I take what I can get.

Best Moment of the Week: I was talking to my brother earlier this week and in mid sentence I got my first real kick - it was hard. And it stopped me mid sentence. It was very cool.

Movement: I feel her move everyday now. Not all the time - so I guess the sleeping 12-14 hours a day is right. I was very aware of it yesterday because I fell on ice yesterday morning and was really sore and MW told me to stay off my feet, so I laid around all day. I was making sure that I felt her move around b/c I was nervous of course. But I'm sure she didn't feel anything other than a little shake.

Symptoms: I'm getting a little tired again, but that might be from the lack of sleep I'm getting.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: A little, precious lady.

What I Miss: Nothing really. Although I went out for a friend's bday and I did miss enjoying a glass of wine with them.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Having C feel the baby. And getting a bigger belly.

Weekly Wisdom: This is going to be weather related ... um, don't go outside in the ice if you're pregnant. Plain and simple.

Milestones: 3 weeks until the viability mark. Wow!

Emotions: I am definitely getting a temper and letting it show. I snap at Chuck a lot. I apologize right afterwards, but really, if he wasn't such a man, then maybe I wouldn't get so pissed. (just kidding - he is the best.) ;

You like me, you really like me.

2011-01-26T20:25:00.002-05:00

I want to thank Alyssa from Crossing my Fingers, But Not My Legs for my very first blog award. You are so sweet and have been such a great supporter of mine!! Feel free to email whenever you have any questions!!! xo

The rules for accepting this award are:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

7 Things About Myself

1. I'm a Cancer (old school, not the new horoscope garbage) Traits: Emotional and loving, intuitive and imaginative, cautious, protective and sympathetic ... all me. Apparently the bad come with the good: changeable and moody, overemotional and touchy ... these are all very true since I've been pregnant.

2. I absolutely, positively LOVEEEEE pickles. Chips, cut dills, gherkins ... hmmm, now I want them!

3. I was born with very dark brown hair which turned platinum blonde when I was 1 and then turned light brown when I was a teenager. I have been FOREVER trying regain my blondness. Sometimes I want to bring in my kindergarden picture to show the stylist. I don't think it's ever going to look the same, but it's not for the lack of trying.

4. My BFF and I have been friends for almost 20 years. We met in 8th grade French class. Since then, we have grown up together, lived together, been each other's maids of honor, our husbands are really good friends now, C and I are her youngest' godparents. She is so much more than a friend or a sister. She is my soul mate.

5. I'm addicted to shoes and handbags. I have struggled with my weight for the vast majority of my adult life, so I spend all my money on the things that won't grow or shrink - my feet and my shoulder/hand. I honestly lost count on my shoes at 75. Eek!

6. I used to play soccer. I played from the time I was 5 until I was 17 and then I coached for a few years after I graduated high school. I was a goalie - I loved getting dirty and hurt. I was such a tomboy.

7. I'm an artist ... professionally I'm a graphic designer, but I paint, draw, do photography. I wish I had more time to paint and do photography, but my life is full of designing on my mac. Sometimes I have to stop and thank god that I get to do what I do everyday.

10 blogs I love: (I'm doing 10 - I don't follow that many ... sorry.)

1. Seriously? This lady is awesome. She is more of a friend than some of my IRL friends. One day I SWEAR - you hear this Michelle - we will meet! xo

2. Pollination Chronicles

3. A Journey to Our Baby

4. Artificially Fertile Myrtle

5. Room for More

6. Maybe If You Just Relax

7. From If to When

8. The Privileged Infertile

9. For the Love of Shoes ... And Baby Too

10. We got hitched. Bought the house. Now What?

Thank you to all these lovely ladies. I fully enjoy reading about their journeys and look forward to the future for all of them.

20 weeks!!!!

2011-01-20T10:03:00.004-05:00

How Far Along: 20 weeks!!! YAY!!!

Size of baby: 6.5 in, 10.6 oz - the size of a small cantaloupe. But from head to foot, she is 10 in - the size of a banana ... I like that one better.
I'm using what I found online for a basis, but MW told me that last week Baby G is measuring at 11 oz already. She said between 19 and 22 weeks, they like the baby to be between 10 oz and 1.5lbs.

Her body is well covered in vernix (the white cheese-like coating which protects her skin from the amniotic fluid), giving her skin that baby-soft feel after she’s born and bathed.

She is practicing swallowing every day, and has a good amount of meconium stored up in her bowels. Meconium is a black gooey substance that will make up your baby’s first bowel movement when she’s born.

Maternity Clothes: I'm definitely not zipping up my pants/jeans anymore. The belly band is becoming a life saver. Now that I'm a little bigger, it stays in place. And I heart dresses. I want to wear them all the time!

Weight Gain: I'm holding pretty steady at a 6 lb gain. When I went to the MW last week, I lost two lbs since 3 weeks before and she said "how did you do that around the holidays?" I actually think I gained around the holidays and then had it drop off. I'm back up one lb since then. We'll see how this all pans out.

Belly:

Stretch Marks: None so far. But my belly is getting itchy. I heard - NO SCRATCHING! That's hard not to do.

Sleep: Sleep ... it's a battle with me these days. I wake up several times during the night. I'm trying to still sleep on stomach, but I think that will be short lived.

Best Moment of the Week: Besides finding out that we have a little lady growing in there (YAY!!!) Monday night was a great night. I hadn't felt the baby move since Friday afternoon. So I was laying in bed and I was rubbing my belly and felt a little hard part, so I poked it ... and she poked me back. I did it again right away and she poked back again!!! It was so awesome. It was like my first connection with her. I told her I wouldn't do it again because I'm sure it's annoying to have your house poked at.

Movement: I am definitely feeling the baby. It is a cross between tiny gas bubbles and someone lightly tapping me with their fingertips - from the inside. I wish it was more consistent. But I'll be patient. I know she will be squirming around soon enough.

Symptoms: Swollen lady bits causing minor itching. MW told me to get Dermoplast - a spray lidocaine. It was definitely helped. And she told me that this spray will become my best friend if I happen to tear and get stitches while giving birth.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: A little, precious lady. I announced the gender on FB by just posting "VAGINA." I got a few funny responses before people caught on. LOL.

What I Miss: Nothing much. This week is a good week. Although aside from the pregnancy, I miss my C. He is traveling for work. :(

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling the baby move more and more. And having C feel the baby too.

Weekly Wisdom: Apparently it's normal to have little red dots appear on your skin. I have them on my belly and on my calves. I read that they do go away after pregnancy.

Milestones: 20 weeks! What is a bigger milestone than that - other than actually giving birth.

Emotions: My breaking point is very short these days. I am constantly aggravated by people and don't want to deal with anyone. My attention span is gone - I don't want to work anymore. I sit in front of my computer, ignoring the pile of work I have, the emails that come in and the phone that rings. I count the hours until I can leave and that is NOT like me. I like my job. I like what I do. I just don't want to do anything ... except shop for baby stuff. (I haven't actually bought anything - just "window" shopping)

19w1d - P or Va-g?

2011-01-14T17:08:00.007-05:00

So today was the big day. It was midnight and I couldn't fall asleep last night, then when I woke up at 3 am to pee, I couldn't get back to sleep until almost 4:30. Next thing I know my phone rings at 7:30 - it was BFF and she was so excited for us. So C and I laid in bed for a bit, watching the Today Show and before we knew it, it was 8:15 and our appt was at 9!! Holy crap.

After a glass of OJ - heard that OJ makes the baby stay awake - we were on our way. The ultrasound was amazing. She first asks us if we are going to find out and I assure her - um, yea! Then we got to see the baby - arms, legs, belly, heart, head, brain, etc. It was so amazing to see the little one moving around. It looks so much bigger than last time! The tech tried several times to get a good profile pic of the little one, but it kept its hands in front of the face the whole time! So no go. Shy one, I guess.

So then she tells C to get the camera ready - we brought our Flip camera to document the "reveal". She moves the wand down to the legs and says that the baby is very cooperative and that we have a little .........................................

GIRL!!!!

We couldn't believe it! Both C and I swore it was a boy. I teared up a bit - pregnancy hormones - and looked at C and said "A little girl!!???" It was a really wonderful moment. So here are some pic of my little lady ...

Here is her foot and leg.

Here are her hands up by her face in an "I surrender" pose!

Although she is still looking slightly away.

Here is her right arm covering the left side of her face - just

like an adult sleeping with their eyes in their elbow nook.

And here is the face and hands. STILL turing away.

So she is either shy or thought it was too early in the morning to take photos. haha. But either way ... we are having a little girl!!!

On a side note: It was funny though - it looked like C's face aged 5 years. I asked him if he was stressed now and he said yes. He is going to be such a protective dad.

19 weeks

2011-01-13T10:00:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 19 weeks - almost half way there!

Size of baby: 6 in, 8.5 oz - the size of a mango.

Baby's sensory development is exploding! The brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that it may be able to hear my voice now, so I shouldn't be shy about reading aloud, talking to it, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes.

Maternity Clothes: After the freakish event of the vanishing belly, in which I was able to wear my regular pants and jeans for a few days, I'm back to wearing maternity pants. I'm most comfortable in maternity pants and jeans, but since I only have two pair for work and two for "casual wear", I am still wearing my regular pants/jeans with the bella band. I may order more pants - at least work pants - tonight. I'm still wearing my regular shirts and have a feeling I'll be able to wear them for a while.

Weight Gain: I'm fluctuating. One week ago I was 6-7 lbs up, then a few days later, I was 2 lbs down and up a total of 4 lbs. This morning, I'm back up to 7 lbs total. But as per thebabycorner dot com, I'm still right on track. (Since I was considered "overweight" to begin with it's tracking me to gain only 20-25 lbs. That would be nice!)

Belly:
Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: I finally gave in and now sleep how ever I'm comfortable. Believe it or not I'm still sleeping on my stomach sometimes. We have a tempurpedic topper on our bed, so I think it cushions me and my belly. I still sleep on the left side though.

Best Moment of the Week: It will be tomorrow! But I guess the question is what is the best moment of the previous week (week 18) ... that would be feeling the baby move more.

Movement: I am definitely feeling the baby. It is a cross between tiny gas bubbles and someone lightly tapping me with their fingertips - from the inside. I'm excited to feel it more and more.

Symptoms: Indigestion has started. I have on more than one occasion thrown up in my mouth. (TMI) Not pleasant.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: Less than 24 hours! Words cannot express how excited I am!

What I Miss: Fitting into my regular clothes. It's a struggle these days on what to wear. I want to live in dresses so nothing is touching my belly.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Finding out the gender and being able to say hello to my son/daughter rather than my "it". YAY!

Weekly Wisdom: Leg cramps! Yup - they happen in the middle of the night. This piggy backs my "wisdom" from last week. Drink tons of water!

Milestones: Feeling the baby move.

Emotions: I had a major freak out over the weekend. I yelled at C, cried and fought and actually throw a ton of items out of a cabinet because something wouldn't fit. (Don't worry, I didn't throw them at C.) It's comical now when I think of it, but man, was I pissed.

18w1d - The Tale of the Vanishing Belly

2011-01-07T09:48:00.006-05:00

Yesterday morning I jumped on the scale because it was my 18th week and I wanted to record my weight, I was up a total of 6.5 lbs from the beginning. I was able to get into regular work pants - with just the help of a rubberband. But I noticed as the day went on and each time I went to the bathroom, I would actually be able to button my pants, but didn't because I thought it would be uncomfortable.

When I came home last night, C surprised me with a "date night" and we went and saw Black Swan (this could be a totally different post ... that movie was CRAZY!) and we indulged in the butteriest of popcorn - so delish. I did feel the baby move during the movie ... it was at the very end. I felt like the baby was thinking the same thing as me - "That movie was intense!" and let me know that by tumbling around in my belly. When we got home and I got undressed, I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and realized I looked exactly the same as I did before I got pregnant. Ok - maybe not exactly the same, but I definitely lost some of my belly. C even commented - unprovoked - that I looked smaller. I heard about the "vanishing belly" before and thought, well it will be back in the morning.

I woke up this morning and I look flatter than last night. I hopped on the scale and I'm down over 2 lbs, bringing my total weight gain to only 4 lbs. Now hey - I'm not one to complain about losing weight, but I don't think this is the time it should be happening. I had to use my doppler this morning to make sure the baby is still in there and hasn't migrated to my ass or something. (because that thing is still big!) Sure enough baby is in there.

Now I've heard of women who start to slim down during pregnancy and actually look better after pregnancy than before. (C'c cousin is def one of those women. So I know this "myth" to be true) C joked with me that I could be one of these women and that maybe I'll look like a supermodel by the end of my pregnancy. Hmmm. It's a bit of a stretch and I don't at all think that will happen. I'm sure the belly and the weight will be back tomorrow, but wouldn't that be nice.

So here is a picture of what I anticipate looking like in 4 months ... I'm hot!

18 weeks

2011-01-06T10:44:00.006-05:00

How Far Along: 18 weeks

Size of baby: 5.6 in, 6.7 oz - the size of a Sweet Potato.

The baby has become amazingly mobile, passing the hours yawning, hiccuping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking and swallowing. And, baby's finally big enough that I'll be able to feel those movements soon ... I hope REALLY soon!

Maternity Clothes: Half and half. I will tell you one thing. Wearing maternity clothes makes you look more pregnant than when wearing regular clothes. Two days ago I wore a maternity dress I got from M.otherhood and I had someone, who didn't know I was pregnant, say "You're expecting." It took me by surprise. Yesterday I was in maternity pants for work. Today I'm in my regular pants with a rubber band holding them closed. It varies on the day. No maternity shirts. I think I'll be able to get by with just wearing my regular shirts for awhile.

Weight Gain: I'm up around a total of 6-7 lbs. As per babycorner dot com, I'm right on track for my week. (they have a really cool pregnancy weight calculator)

Belly: coming soon.

Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: Sleeping sucks right now. I'm up all hours of the night. I will eventually find a comfortable position.

Best Moment of the Week: Realizing that it's 2011 and that I will have a baby this year! And that I will be off of work for the whole summer. Baby of course is number one, but off from work is a VERY close second! :)

Movement: I just don't know. Sometimes I think I feel it, sometimes I have no idea. I just can't wait to feel it swirl and twirl all around.

Symptoms: Headaches are still here. Very thirsty too.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: 8 more days!!!! I can't wait! I have to say though I think it's a boy. I just have this feeling. I will be shocked if it's a girl. But of course, either way I'll be happy. I just want to know.

What I Miss: Fitting into my regular clothes. It's a struggle these days on what to wear. I want to live in dresses so nothing is touching my belly.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Finding out the gender and being able to say hello to my son/daughter rather than my "it".

Weekly Wisdom: Drink tons and tons of water. I started to get round ligament pains last weekend and they were so bad I thought something was wrong, but they were only that bad because I was "dehydrated." Now I am making sure I drink over 80oz of water a day and I haven't had any since then.

Milestones: Being outed that I'm pregnant by my belly. I couldn't believe that someone noticed that I was pregnant and not just fat.

Emotions: I'm good these days. A little hissy fits here and there, but otherwise I'm good. I think the holidays and being sick really took a lot out of me and made me a crazy person for a bit, but I'm good now. Feeling happy. Excited for the future. It's about time!

MegaMillions

2011-01-05T15:29:00.004-05:00

C and I aren't big lottery people. Sure I've scratched a few scratch offs and bought a few lottery tickets, but for the most part, we aren't that big into it. Well of course since last night's was $330 million I figured, what the hell. We both put in $10 each and got a bunch of tickets. We only chose one line of numbers and the rest were automated. We went to bed last night and I didn't think twice about it. When I woke up this morning, I jumped in the shower. While in there, I remembered about the MegaMillions and spent the time in there daydreaming about what I would do with the money.

And then it raised all these questions - Would I still work? Would we move? Who would we give money to? Do I buy my parents a new house? How much do I give to my nonprofit? And it got my mind onto this beautiful rollercoaster, going through the scenarios like they could actually happen. I imagined that C and I moved somewhere nice and warm. Buy a REAL house. On a big piece of property. I would quit my job for now - and focus on the baby. I would get to spend all the time I wanted home with baby. C would too. We would travel and give $ to our friends to travel. Bail our parents out of debt and set up retirement funds for them. I thought of all the worries and stresses from work and duties and how it would feel for them to be relieved. C and I do well in our careers, but it would be great to NEVER worry about money. I thought about how we could be nothing but happy, living the life people dream of.

I couldn't get out of the shower fast enough to see if we were changing our lives today. As I raced out of the bathroom and downstairs I thought of how I would wake up C by screaming and jumping on the bed "We Won! We Won!" I see the tickets on the coffee table and boot up my mac.book. I see the numbers and quickly start to scan our pickin's. The line we chose was a no go, but I have 19 more to look at. Sadly, as each line I passed, I start to realize that the dreams I had only a few moments ago aren't going to come true .... until I get to line 16 ... there it is ...
the powerball number. 42. We have it ... what does it mean? Anything? Well wouldn't you know it, we were winners this morning. We won $2. Granted it isn't enough for me to quit my job and move into a larger home, but at least I got to play make believe for a few minutes this morning and hey we at least recouped 10% of our money. Better than nothing I guess.

17 weeks

2010-12-30T11:27:00.007-05:00

How far along: 17 weeks

Size of baby: 5.1 in; 5.9 oz - the size of an onion.

The baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

Maternity Clothes: I actually wore a pair of maternity pants a few days ago out of the house for the first time. I did wear a belt with them, but other than feeling a little big, I was so comfortable. I'm not going 100% in maternity clothes yet, but it nice to know that if I'm feeling uncomfortable I have more than yoga pants to wear now.

Weight Gain: I went to our 16w appt on Monday and I was up a total of 7lbs (6 of them gained in 4 weeks)!!! Our midwife said it's the holidays ... and she was right. I went down a bit and now am up a total of 4.5 - 5 lbs. I'm more comfortable with that.

Belly: 17 weeks. Notice my kick-ass maternity pants with my belt. I am starting to love elastic waist bands. I promise myself that I will get better photos on here. I have an expensive camera - I should be using it.

Stretch Marks: None so far. I am pretty good about my regiment - baby oil after showering, lotion before dressing and pregnancy oil before bed. Not sure it's going to help, but I'm super soft!

Sleep: I'm super sick this week, so I'm miserable sleeping. C got me a body pillow for Xmas and I have been hugging that, but now that I can't breathe out of my nose, I'm forced to sleep in a sort of upright position.

Best Moment of the Week: Setting up the gender ultrasound.

Movement: I am definitely sure that I felt the baby that first time, but now I'm not really sure. Sometimes I think I feel it, sometimes I think it's just gas.

Symptoms: Here are two interesting (or TMI) symptoms I have noticed.

1. For a few weeks, when I sneeze I have been peeing a little bit. Wonderful! Now that I am sick, I sneeze all the time - I had to change my underwear twice yesterday. Lesson learned: Do Kegels!

2. I swore I had been battling a yeast infection for like six weeks. I did OTC stuff, but was still not feeling better. Come to find out, I don't and didn't have a yeast infection, but pregnancy makes the PH balance off down there and can cause a little itching. Ways to treat - take a bathing soda or oatmeal bath or apparently sperm can balance out the PH. So another lesson learned: Have more sex.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: We find out in two weeks!!! YAY!

What I Miss: This week - I especially miss feeling NOT sick.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Getting more of a roundness in the belly and did I mention, finding out if there is a little boy or girl rolling around in there? :)

Weekly Wisdom: See symptoms for lessons learned.

Milestones: Wearing maternity pants.

Emotions: Still weepy watching movies. And kind of depressed this week, but that's mainly because I've been stuck in my house for DAYS. I'm feeling a little better today. I'm hoping to venture outside.

16w5d - Sick and Set!

2010-12-28T11:55:00.004-05:00

Christmas came and went and it was good. Family came over on Xmas Eve for my annual Xmas Eve Open House. I usually love throwing this event, but I was exhausted from all the running around - and I'm only pregnant. Makes me think twice about hosting it next year with an infant.

Anyhow, the joy of Christmas itself has been diluted by the fact that I'm sick. Boo. Being sick sucks. Being sick while pregnant so you can't take any symptom masking medicine - BLOWS. Plus on top of being sick we had a major snow storm here in good 'ole Jersey and C and my brother J are stuck in the house with me. Let me just say that I may not be the only miserable one here. And I feel a little angst towards J because he was the one who got me sick. Although he is feeling better, I'm sure the hole I've been burning into the back of his head with fiery stink eyes will start to hurt soon. (I hate being sick.)

But on an upside, I had my 16w midwife appointment yesterday. We got to hear the heartbeat again and C videotaped it so we have it on "record". It took the nurse a bit to find the heartbeat and C admitted to me in the car afterwards that for a second he was getting nervous that they weren't going to find it. But all was fine. The heartbeat was in the high 150s. The midwife then came in and she said all is going well - my uterus is growing "wonderfully" and although I'm concerned about my weight gain (I've gained 6 lbs in 4.5 weeks) she said, "it's the holidays. Don't worry about it. Keep eating good and keep exercising." So that made me feel better. I was suppose to get the second blood draw for the triple screen yesterday since it needs to be done between 16 and 19 weeks, but the lab person didn't make it yesterday (due to the snow). So instead of coming back for my next appointment in four weeks - which would make me 20w4d - my next appt is in 2.5weeks - 19w exactly. So you know what that means ... that means that I get to find out if there is a little boy or little girl in there on January 14th!!! I'm sooo excited! It's so exciting to actually have the gender ultrasound set. It's going to go by so fast. So ladies, get your guesses in ...

16 weeks

2010-12-23T10:01:00.005-05:00

OK - I have been really shitty about blogging anything other than my weekly updates. I'm hoping once the holidays have passed that I have a little more free time - physically and mentally - to share. Again, like a few weeks ago, I have several posts started about other topics, but haven't had a chance to complete them. This will be my New Year's resolution. Mainly because when the baby is born, I want to print out each post and add it to the baby book. So baby will know what I was doing and thinking while it was growing.

How Far Along: 16 weeks

Size of baby: 4.6 in, 3.5 oz - the size of an Avocado.

I better watch what I say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up my voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

Maternity Clothes: I got the stuff from O.ld Navy and everything was way too big. I need to return them all. :( The jeans were OK, but ended up returning them in the store and getting a size smaller than my regular jeans size. They fit good and are super comfy. Some pants still fit and others need the belly band. I did buy one pair of work pants from M.otherhood Maternity and they are so comfortable. I'm probably not 100% ready for them, but I'm sure I'll grow into them.

Weight Gain: Oh - this is starting to get me nervous. I spent the whole first trimester with no weight gain, maybe 1 lb. But now, I feel like it's coming on fast! As of this morning, I am up a total of 5 lbs.

Belly: C and I are terrible at this. I will get one up soon!

Stretch Marks: None so far. Linea nigra is getting darker and I've noticed that I'm starting to get a little peach fuzz on my belly.

Sleep: I'm still sleeping on my stomach, but am starting to feel a little discomfort in doing so. So to the left side it is.

Best Moment of the Week: Feeling the baby move! Yup - it happened. See below.

Movement: I was sitting in the car Friday night coming back from NYC and all of a sudden I felt two little "pop-pop"s. It felt like bubbles bursting. I said to C "Either I have gas in my vagina or I just felt the baby move." I'm going with the latter. :)

Symptoms: Headaches are still there, but not as much. Other than that, I'm feeling good.

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings.

Gender: OMG - this is getting too hard to wait! Only a few more weeks and then we can find out!

What I Miss: Nothing in particular.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Looking a little more pregnant than just fat. Feeling the baby move MORE!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Don't weight yourself everyday. I have been doing that and freaking out. I completely understand that I will be gaining weight, but I guess as someone who had struggled with weight her whole life, it's difficult to see the scale go up. So my advice to you - and ME - don't get on that scale. Just get weighed at your appts.

Milestones: The baby moving. Nothing better than that at this point.

Emotions: I'm good these days. I find that my emotions go from one extreme to another.

15 weeks

2010-12-16T10:34:00.007-05:00

How Far Along: 15 weeks

Size of baby: 4 inches, 2.5 oz - the size of a Naval Orange. (that's big!) :)

Baby is busy moving amniotic fluid through its nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in its lungs begin to develop. The baby's legs are growing longer than the arms now, and can move all of its joints and limbs. Although its eyelids are still fused shut, they can sense light.

Maternity Clothes: I bought some work pants from O.ld Navy and a pair of jeans. Still waiting for them to come in the mail. My work pants fit today, but may not fit tomorrow. I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable though. I think I'm in the "in-between" stage.

Weight Gain: As of Tuesday, I'm up 4 lbs.

Belly: Here is where I will be posting belly shots. I still have to take one for 15 weeks.

Stretch Marks: None so far. Linea nigra is getting darker and I've noticed that I'm starting to get a little peach fuzz on my belly.

Sleep: I'm still sleeping on my stomach, but am starting to feel a little discomfort in doing so. So to the left side it is.

Best Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeat at the OB on Monday. Even though I've been hearing it at home, this is the first time I've heard it at the office. It was in the 160s.

Movement: Nope. I can't wait!

Symptoms: Headaches and a little round ligament pulling. Man does that hurt!

Food cravings: No more consistent cravings, but when I hear about something someone ate, I want it and want it then. A few days ago I wanted nachos like nobody's business. :)

Gender: The closer it gets, the more I want to know. I still have about a month before we can find out.

What I Miss: Nothing in particular.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Looking a little more pregnant than just fat. Feeling the baby move!!!

Weekly Wisdom: Drink water, water, water. It helps with headaches, constipation and overall function. (This is not from me, but from C. He is on my case about making sure I drink enough water.)

Milestones: 15 weeks - it's a milestone. Really, every week is a milestone!

Emotions: I am still weepy. But really only watching movies or commercials. But it comes on FAST!

14 weeks

2010-12-09T09:49:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 14 weeks

Size of baby: 3.4 inches, 1.5 oz - the size of a lemon.

Baby is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet, but about 50% of my pants need to be unbuttoned or I need to use the Bella Band. Although it doesn't work that great because I'm not THAT big, so it keeps falling down in the back.

Weight Gain: Jumped on the scale yesterday morning and even after a vacation eating frenzy, I'm only up 2 lbs.

Stretch Marks: None so far. Linea nigra is getting darker and I've noticed that I'm starting to get a little peach fuzz on my belly.

Sleep: I'm up about once a night to pee, but sleep has gotten a little better. I can still sleep on my stomach.

Best Moment of the Week: Being alone with C and enjoying our last "baby-free" vacation.

Movement: I'm wishful thinking here, but last night I felt a little "something". I'm sure it was gas or a cramp, but since it's getting close I'm more aware of any feeling I have in that area.

Symptoms: Symptoms are dwindling down. Not as tired, bbs don't hurt anymore. Pregnancy brain is in full effect though. :) Oh, headaches - they are still going strong.

Food cravings: I haven't had many cravings lately. I don't want a burger like I did a few weeks ago. I still love salads though.

Gender: The closer it gets, the more I want to know. I still have about a month and a half before we can find out.

What I Miss: Mostly nothing. But I can say after this vacation, I do miss the occasional drink.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Looking a little more pregnant than just fat. Feeling the baby move!!!

Weekly Wisdom: If you travel while pregnant, you can deny the full body scan. Although I've read that it's not harmful to the baby, I don't think it's been around long enough to come up with accurate data. Why risk it? Get hand searched - not fun, but at least the baby will be safe.

Milestones: I hear the heart beat whenever I use my doppler. No more searching. :)

Emotions: I am WE-EPY all the time. While we were at Key West, there was triathlon that finished at our hotel. As the runners were finishing, I started crying. It was really ridiculous. Thank god I had my sunglasses on. :)

13 weeks

2010-12-01T21:25:00.003-05:00

How Far Along: 13 weeks. (minus a few hours, but I'm hopping on a plane first thing tomorrow morning, so I figured I do this tonight)

Size of baby: Almost 3 inches and about .8 oz - the size of a fuzzy, beautiful peach.

Baby is forming teeth and vocal cords. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body

Maternity Clothes: No. But I am thinking about breaking out the Bella Band soon.

Weight Gain: According to my last midwife appt - 1 lb.

Stretch Marks: None so far.

Sleep: I'm up about once a night to pee, but sleep has gotten a little better.

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing the baby on Monday and it looking like a baby. And seeing it fling its legs and arms around. So cute. And coming in at a close second, knowing that I'll be in warm weather on vacation in 12 hours.

Movement: No. In a few weeks I will start to lay very still for a few minutes a day to see if there is anything. I have a feeling that it's going to be about another to months before this happens, but I can't wait.

Symptoms: Tired on and off - but a lot more energy than before. Boobs still a little sore. TMI - lots of gas ;)

Food cravings: Actually my meat craving isn't as strong as before. I'm very thirsty all the time. I still want orange soda though. :)

Gender: Chinese gender chart says boy. My goddaughter and her sister both say boy (they are 3 and 4) and a friend's child who has correctly guessed 8 genders said boy. After looking at the u/s and seeing how longgg the legs are I'm starting to think boy ... but we will see in 6 weeks.

What I Miss: Having the energy to work out. I really want to, but just don't have the motivation.

What I'm Looking Forward To: VACATION TOMORROW... oh you mean baby wise ... my bump growing. I really can't wait.

Weekly Wisdom: If you post your pregnancy on FB, expect stupid comments from people. Let them roll off your back and don't let it bring you down from your baby-high. ;)

Milestones: I am officially in my second trimester!!! YAY! AND I'm 1/3 of the way to meeting my little one!!!

Emotions: Patience is running thin. I still tear up at a lot of things. I'm feeling a little less concerned about this pregnancy lasting and a little more concerned about the well-being of the baby now. I guess I better get use to this feeling - I'll be worrying for the rest of my life now about the baby.

12w4d - Photo Time

2010-11-29T19:20:00.006-05:00

I had my first trimester screening today. All is good. Basically there is a 1 in 6000 chance that the baby has Down's and an 1 in 10,000 chance of some other chromosomal defect. So they said it's negative. I did get to see the baby for an extended period of time today - so that was awesome. We started the u/s and the baby was sleeping. The tech then started poking and pushing on my belly and making me shake around. But that baby was out cold. Then after about10 mins, she left the room and said she will be back in a few minutes. I asked her is there anything I could do and she said "Get your baby to wake up." LOL. So C said that maybe I had the baby up all night coughing (still stuffy and coughing) so I decided to start coughing, thinking maybe it will do the trick. And sure enough, when the tech came back, the baby was moving around like crazy. Flinging its arms and legs around and jumping up and down. It was so awesome. I kept giggling and the tech smiled and said "Stop laughing. I have to measure it." It was a great day.

Then I had my second OB appt. Everything is great. Blood pressure is awesome. I haven't gained any weight - well maybe one pound. She said "You're a healthy girl. Great job." I like hearing this even though I'm a little overweight. :)

I also took the plunge and posted on FB. It was nice to get all the congrats and well wishes. But I did get three comments that pissed me off. 1. "Motherhood is amazing." 2. "I knew C could get the job done." 3. "See. Good things do come to those who wait." Ok. I'm sure you all know why each of these piss me off. But in case you are still wondering, I will explain.

1. Motherhood is amazing. Ok. This is probably coming from the IFer in me. I always hated these types of FB posts. Like there is nothing else in this world that is as great as being a mom.Yes, I'm thrilled to become a mother, but still it's a stupid comment. Like I get to become a member of some secret club. "Motherhood." C told me to comment back "I'm glad my news supports your self worth." I'm so happy he gets it.

2. I knew C could get the job done. Ummm. Actually no he couldn't. And neither could I. Does that make us any less of parents to be? I wish people just wouldn't assume. (And keep in mind, this came from a family member. ugh.)

3. See. Good things do come to those who wait. The only think I can say about this is SHUT THE FUCK UP! And what bad things come to those who don't wait???

Anyway - 3 out of numerous comments isn't that bad. Maybe I should just de-friend those people. Then maybe they will learn to keep their mouths shut. :)

Here is a picture of the little bean with it's LONG legs! It's going to be a GIANT! oh and looks like an alien ... not the cutest of pictures yet. But I love it all the same!